“Is that so bad? You’re a princess. You’ll marry a prince. Few women have the privileges you will have. Your lot isn’t so bad.”
“But maybe a peasant woman has more freedom in choosing a husband,” I whisper. “Ishould have more freedom in choosing a husband, in giving my tokens to anyone who catches my fancy and then see who will bite. How is this fair?”
“You’re hurt,” she says. “I understand. But that’s how these things work.”
I bow my head. She’s right. There is no way out of this, is there? After all, I don’t really want that. I don’t want to go to balls and give tokens to anyone I fancy and see who bites.
“I want a man,” I whisper, “who will decide he wants me and nobody else, who will want to know what I like and try to share his interests with me. Who will talk to me openly and not put me in my place every time I want to speak my mind. A man crazy in love with me, who will move the earth and sky to join me, to make me his.”
“You read too many romances and fairytales,” Lily says. “If Iason hasn’t been put off, he will be back soon. And then you’d better convince him that you’re interested in him, cousin, and accept his ring if he proposes, or else you will miss this opportunity of a perfect marriage. The omens are good.”
“Omens? You’ve spread the cards for me?”
“Of course. Several times.”
“Does that mean you’re worried about prince Iason, too?”
“Psht. I’m not worried.” She waves a beringed hand at me. “I spread the cards all the time.”
She’s not very convincing now. “No, you don’t. You only spread them for yourself and any man you like. Not for me.”
“Selina—”
“Something has weirded you out. That’s why you spread the cards several times for me. Something’s off, isn’t it?”
She shrugs. “Maybe.”
“Show me.”
“Here we are,” Lily says brightly, though there’s a shadow of worry in her eyes. “My Moon Cards.”
These are cards brought from the distant Orient by travelers and fortune-tellers, purportedly hand-painted with human blood and ash made from burnt human hair.
I’ve always wondered where the blue hues come from, though.
Adar’s blue eyes flash through my mind and I grit my teeth. “Let’s have it then. Spread the cards for me. Let’s see what they say about me and Iason.”
She places the painted card in a pile, face down, and gestures at them. “Pick one and place it in the center.”
I do as she says. “Now what?”
“Pick two more and place on either side. And then another two, above and below. A cross.”
“Why a cross?”
“It symbolizes the tree of life.”
“If you say so.” Smiling faintly, I follow her instructions. I don’t believe in fate, I don’t believe in these cards, but I want to know what bothered Lily, and I need time to think. Maybe the cards will help me clarify my own feelings and thoughts.
“Perfect.” She claps her hands together. I still don’t understand her fascination with these cards. I think she said that her uncle brought them to her from one of his travels.
I lean forward as she flips the cards left and right of the central one over. “This is your present,” she says, peering down at the two cards she flipped. “What do you think?”
“Um… There is a castle. And a tree. I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean.”
“The castle can mean home. And a tree can mean a forest. The woods.”
“The woods.” My stomach knots. “Right. No idea how that applies to me.”