Chapter Fifteen
I forced down a piece of toast as my brother stood in the middle of the bedroom and gave me the distinctly bad news. “Really? You didn’t find anything?”
Eddie had popped over to Dallas to bring back Nate. Jamie was apparently on call with the royals being in Dallas. They were both preparing to make the move to Frelsi in the next few days. My mother was currently packing way too much and fully intended to “help” me through my pregnancy.
That had been conveyed to me with an almost vicious glee. I was way more afraid of her than I was of Tix. The thought of my mom moving seriously close to me and not having any kind of a job except mom and grandma was terrifying, but I had to move the morning along.
“Yes, I found all the stab wounds,” Nate replied with a yawn. “She was stabbed. And with what looks like a kitchen knife. Not even a ceremonial one. It’s kind of sad. If you’re a witch and you’ve got to go out, one would think it should be with a ceremonial knife.”
“Could you be serious for five minutes?”
“I’m too tired to be serious,” Nate quipped, reaching for the mug of coffee Eddie had brought him. “I know you want me to connect this to Alvis’s death, and it’s probably true, but I can’t tell because there wasn’t a lot left of Alvis. He could have been stabbed but a knife wouldn’t kill him. I can tell you that the witch died from a butcher knife to the heart, and not a particularly clean one since I found some trace elements of herbs in the wound and on the knife. It looked like she’d been using it in the kitchen and then someone killed her.”
“But she wasn’t found in the kitchen. My question is why was her body found in the foyer?”
“Because she was killed there and the other witch was found with the knife because she was the one who did the killing,” Nate summed up. “Sometimes these things are easy, and what we see is really what happened. Most of the time, actually.” He looked down at his watch. “I wrote it all up in my report. I’ve got some samples to take back for further testing, and I’ll send that to you as soon as I have it, but I don’t think that’s going to change the outcome of this investigation. I know you like the girl, but sometimes people disappoint us.”
People disappointed me all the time. It wasn’t like I was Suzy Sunshine. There were times in my life when I was Nihilistic Nancy. I was now trying for Reasonably Suspicious Ruth, with a pinch of Optimistic Opal. My brother was seriously annoying me. “I’ll find Eddie for you.”
“Don’t get mad at me because I don’t give you the answer you want.” Nate softened slightly and sat on the bed beside me. “Are you feeling better?”
I’d had a morning. After trying to talk to Jade and getting mostly hysterical tears, I’d finally gone to bed and gotten some sleep. I’d had dreams of Tix throwing me a baby shower that ended with him locking me up so I would be forced to deliver my son on the Hell plane. I’d woken up and promptly had one of those amazing experiences where I throw up a lot and generally feel miserable for about thirty minutes before Nate had come in to deliver my not-so-great news.
“I guess so.” I wasn’t sure because my appetite hadn’t returned, and that made me worry. I liked my appetite.
“Jeanie had a rough first trimester.” He chuckled. “It’s hard to believe I use words like ‘trimester’ now, and I know what a cervix is and that it dilates. Yesterday I was concerned with our next D&D night.”
No matter how irritated I was with him, he was still my brother and I adored him. I shifted so I was sitting next to him and I could wrap my arm around him. “I know. I’m still surprised you know what sex is.”
That got me a hearty laugh, and he leaned against me. “I am, too. Sometimes I look at this life and I’m so in awe of how we get to live.” He took a long breath, sobering. “And then sometimes I’m terrified that this kid is going to come out and be so disappointed to have a human for a father. What if she can’t change? What if she hates me for taking that chance from her?”
“First of all, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Those shifter genes run pretty strong, and second, if it does, she’ll have plenty of human relatives. She won’t be the only one. She’ll have Jamie and Nicole’s kids, and there are humans in Frelsi. She’ll grow up surrounded by lots of creatures who don’t have superpowers. Most of the Fae creatures’ powers aren’t cool things like being able to change forms. The brownies have super cleaning skills. The companions are all glowy, but ninety-nine percent of us can’t see it. If she can’t change, she’ll find her badass in another way. Look at Evan.”
“When the hell did you become the voice of reason?” Nate asked with a smile.
I had no idea. I had been the fucked-up one, the one my brothers worried about. The one they’d almost lost. Well, I guess when I thought about it, I did know. “I found my place in the world.”
“Because you found your superpowers.”
“But that’s where you’re wrong. I always had the power. It was always part of me, but until I found a peace inside myself, it was a dangerous thing. The real power is in believing in myself. That’s what I’ve come to learn. In accepting who I am and what I can contribute and not being jealous of what other people get to do. It’s in finding some contentment that I’m here and I’m necessary, even if other people don’t see it. And you need to find that before this kid gets here.”
“That’s in, like, a couple of days, sister. That’s a lot to unpack in a couple of days.”
“Is it?” I mused. “Haven’t you already done most of the work? You decided you loved this woman and adapted to live in her world. You’re necessary to her. You and Jamie are necessary to me. Don’t doubt your place here because you’re human. That’s what I love about the Under. The primals are such powerful beings and yet they open their home to everyone. Their place could have been the superpredators of the supernatural world, but instead they chose to help. I could have become something destructive. Instead I think I’m pretty helpful. I think I was supposed to be here. Any other investigator would take what you’ve said and stop looking. I, on the other hand, will likely toss out all of your thoughts and try to find the real killer.”
Because it wasn’t Jade.
Nate groaned, but his arm slid around my shoulders. “Fine. Ignore the forensics specialist. I’m betting you’re going to ignore me when I give you another bit of advice.”
I wasn’t sure I needed more advice, but I was going with it. “Hit me.”
He turned, forcing me to face him so I could see how serious he was. “Kill Liv.”
I felt my whole soul sag. “I can’t. I mean I won’t let her kill me, but I don’t know if I can kill her.”
“Kelsey, she’s so powerful, and that sword of yours won’t help because she won’t let you get close enough. She doesn’t have to be close. She can kill you from afar.”
“So why hasn’t she? She’s had the chance.” I’d thought about this very little because I knew the answer. “She doesn’t want to kill me. There’s a part of Liv that still loves me.”