“Own?” I didn’t like the wording she was using. It told me way too much about Myrddin’s true political ambitions. “Are the rest of us slaves? Is that what you are, Liv? His slave?”
“I am his good right hand. I am his enforcer,” Liv announced. “I’m in a position of great power, and I have more magic than I could have dreamed to have. I’m no slave. Myrddin has provided me with everything I need.”
She was forgetting a few things she’d previously required. “What about Casey?”
Dark eyes rolled. “Casey is ridiculous. He’s a child.”
“He doesn’t seem to be anymore. He seems to have matured, and even when he was young, he had a bravery that came out when he needed it to.” I had to find a way to get to her. “Who loves you now, Liv? Who loves the Olivia Carey who doesn’t have power? Because there will come a time when it’s stripped from you again and all you’ll have to rely on is who you are down deep inside and the people who love and adore you. Me and Casey. Who loves you in that coven house of yours?”
She was still for a moment and for a second I thought she would soften. But her shoulders went back, eyes going steely again. “If there is one thing I’ve learned from you it’s to stay away from love. It’s all a lie. It’s a biological impulse that controls us, nothing more. Feelings and emotions are useless things. They’re useful for manipulation and trade. Logic is better. You understand logic. Kelsey, Donovan can’t win this war. We’ve had twelve years to fortify ourselves against him. Twelve years to put our plans in place.”
“Your plans to give the Earth plane to Hell?” It was what Sasha had told me they’d learned. He’d gone over all the hows and whys, but it boiled down to Myrddin couldn’t hold the plane without the demons, and the demons were sick of Heavenly interference. They sought to close the doors to the Heaven plane and allow demons to rule the lower planes.
Unfortunately, to do that Myrddin needed his grimoire and my sword, and that sneaky queen had managed to steal and hide both before she got thrown to the outer planes. She was planning on stealing them back, and I couldn’t wait to get Gladys in my hands again. She’s the sword the Nex Apparatus carries. She came from the Heaven plane, and the people smarter than me theorized she might be used to close the door. After all, one of Gladys’s most formidable talents is to store the unique energy of the creatures she kills. Is used to kill. I don’t know. I only know it works and the last thing I killed with Gladys had been an angel from the Heaven plane, and that meant there was an enormous amount of Heavenly power stored in that sword.
Olivia shook her head. “Do you honestly believe I want to live in a hellscape where demons run everything? Of course not. Is that what the rebels believe? Well, I suppose that’s what happens when the majority of your army is barely able to drink.”
“Oh, I assure you Lee can drink and do lots of other way too adult things.” The sweet kid I’d known had turned into a horny man who did not discriminate when it came to the…people, creatures…in his bed. The queen had her hands full with that one. At least I only had to worry about Fen sneaking into Evan’s bed.
I was a bit more practical about that than Quinn was. They were young and in love. They had adult responsibilities and had been forced to mature long before they should have. If they were safe, I said go for it. This was war. They should find comfort where they could.
“Yes. I don’t think any of us thought he would turn into such a little manwhore. Or that his brother would be an uptight prick. That poor Green Man. He must be dying. One day he’s going to explode and then we’ll be able to find him and put him out of his misery. Don’t think we’re not looking for Fae magic. He’ll light up like a firefly on our locator maps.”
I stared at the woman who’d been my best friend, nausea rolling through me. “You taught those children. You babysat them. You held them in your arms and they trusted you.”
That seemed to stop her for a moment. “They aren’t the same. I’m not the same either.”
That was where she was wrong. “They are. I assure you those are the same babies you used to make grilled cheeses for and watch Disney movies with. You were the teacher they all wanted when they got to high school. Liv, you were part of the reason they never made it to high school. You had a hand in this. You stole my son’s childhood.”
“And you left.” Liv shouted the words, one finger pointing my way. “You were stupid and blind, and you couldn’t help yourself. You had to go and try to find that vampire. Your arrogance made you fall into that trap. You left me alone, and I couldn’t even protect myself. What the fuck should I have done? I was alone and I had no power without Myrddin. I had nothing. I was as weak as any human, and you were supposed to protect me. I lost my power for you, Kelsey. So you could save that kid and your men. I was there to help you, but you left me behind. You want to talk about me teaching kids? That was my job. I was good at it until you dragged me into yours and cost me everything.”
I hadn’t meant to leave her behind, but she didn’t want to hear that rationale. I went with another. “You had Casey. Even after I disappeared, he would have been there for you. You could have told the king what was happening.”
“Do you think I knew then? Do you think I had any power with Myrddin when I could barely shape a spell with these useless hands?” She held them up and I was shocked to see the heavy veins running up and down the back of her hands only to disappear in that shield she wore. I knew what that costume was. It was a shield.
And unfortunately I knew what those veins meant.
Liv had been taking demon blood.
“Myrddin only cared about me because you cared about me. He didn’t tell me anything back then. I was trapped and scared.” For a moment she sounded like my Liv. “Casey couldn’t help me. Casey barely managed to get out on his own. He didn’t think to look for me. I was alone. But then I realized what an opportunity I’d been given. The Dark One offered me power, and I took it. I realized it didn’t matter what I had to give up. It didn’t matter. I felt better without it.”
“Without what?” I didn’t like the suspicion that was creeping across my mind. “What did you give up? How long have you been taking demon blood? Do you have any idea what that’s going to do to your soul?”
“Who needs a soul when you can have power?”
A cold chill moved over my skin. “Liv, what have you done?”
Her jaw tightened, eyes boring into me. “What I had to. What you made me do. Now I’ll ask the question I came here to ask. It’s more of a bargain. Stay out of this fight. I’ve talked to Myrddin and he’s agreed that if you go to your mother and brothers and live a human life, he’ll stay away from you. I’ll even throw in Trent if you can get that wolf to keep his nose out of our business.”
“Stay out of this war? So we can have a couple of months before demons take over?”
“I told you that’s not what’s happening,” Liv insisted.
“Because Myrddin wouldn’t do that?” I sensed a way to start shoving a wedge between Liv and her beloved maniac wizard.
“Because he would tell me if he was.”
“You’re still on the outside,” I said with a shrug. “He’s taken your soul and infected you with evil and he still doesn’t trust you. He’s lying to you. He’s planning on using the Sword of Light along with a spell from his grimoire to close the door to the Heaven plane and then he’ll open the one to Hell and they will rule.”