23
CARLY
The night before, I slept fitfully. The conversation with my father was stuck in my head because… God.
He’s most likely the reason you were taken.
At dinner, I forced two tacos down to avoid my mother asking why I wasn’t eating. They sat in my belly giving me heartburn as I lay in bed, wishing for Austin’s strong arms around me. To tell me everything is going to be okay. That I’m safe.
Unfortunately, he didn’t call last night, even after he texted me to let me know he landed safely. We’re not anything but lovers, although he did say I was his. Still, it’s been a matter of days and I shouldn’t be attached. Shouldn’t rely on him even though my pussy is sore and a constant reminder of what we did together.
Deep down, I know Austin never even met his father. But I’m trying not to concern myself with the fact… and the fact that my father believes—and may well be right—that Jonathan Bridger was involved in my abduction.
That the father of the man I’m falling for was evil.
I can’t change it. I can only move forward. The fact that Jonathan Bridger is dead gives me comfort. Morbid? Yes. But I lived through hell. I’m glad I didn’t know about this until after he was six feet under. Dad’s voice became so robotic in the den as he told me he believed the elder Bridger had something to do with my abduction, and he—Dad—was looking into every kind of legal remedy available to us. That the FBI contact was also following through. It made Dad panic. Heck, I was a little freaked by it, but I know that it has nothing to do with Austin and Miles. Chance, too, even though he lived on the ranch with his dad. His anger is justified and if it’s confirmed, I’ll be so upset, too. Until then, I have to keep looking forward.
No wonder he’s so upset about me working at Bridger Ranch. But I’m not in danger and I can’t be taken again. Jonathan Bridger’s dead. Derek Wolfe’s dead. Maybe working at the ranch is actually the best way for me to move on, or is it just cruel to do so? To work the land of the man who possibly helped steal three years of my life… who almost destroyed me?
I don’t know the answer yet. I’m overwhelmed and confused. Pulled in two directions. Maybe being here is proof that I survived. That I won’t let him win, even from the grave. Inwardly, I smirk. Maybe he’s rolling over in his casket right now with me taking care of his animals and sleeping with his son.
Maybe.
All I know is for today, I’m okay. I’m moving on. Doing the best I can and trying not to shift in my seat, my pussy achy from Austin’s thorough attention.
I’m in the passenger side of an ATV while Lexie drives across the terrain to Shipp’s Creek. It’s bumpy and dusty and the sun is beating down on us. I put on a hat to shield my face from the strong rays, but I have to smile. ATVs are fun.
“The guys broke up the dam yesterday before they flew out,” Lexie says, steering around a rock sticking out of the dirt. “So we need to scout the area for beavers and other wildlife that could be affected by the removal. If we find any, we’ll need to alert the Fish and Wildlife Service and have them relocated.”
“Well, obviously the beavers will be affected,” I say. I watched a documentary once about how beavers are environmental engineers, changing the natural landscape unlike any other animal.
“Not necessarily.” Lexie takes a swallow from the water bottle she brought along as she expertly steers with one hand. “The dam was old, as I understand it. We haven’t had any beavers on any of the creeks through Bridger land for the last few years.”
“Any interaction with grizzlies?”
She shakes her head. “Not on our ranch. They’re still farther north. I saw some when hiking in Glacier National Park last summer. They’re gorgeous but dangerous—and also endangered. Sometimes I don’t understand why the most beautiful things seem to be fading out of existence.”
Her words strike me hard, right in the gut.
Fading out of existence.
For so long, while I was on the island, I felt like I was fading out of existence. Even after I was rescued, during that first year of intensive therapy, I felt like a shadow. Like a two-dimensional cutout of Carly Vance.
Like an endangered species.
But not anymore.
I can’t let myself go there anymore. Working here on the ranch with Lexie helps a lot.
Being with Austin helps even more.
It’s ironic though, that I love the ranch of the man who may have been involved in my kidnapping.
Lexie pulls the ATV to a stop. “Here we are. From the directions Chance gave, we’ll walk the rest of the way following the creek. The site of the dam is about a half mile up.” She points as she slings a backpack over her shoulder.
I nod and follow. Together we trudge, following the creek, until we find the remains of the dam. Rotting logs and rocks are strewn along the bank on both sides. I could imagine the three brothers wet and muddy working on this project.
Lexie steps into the creek, the water sloshing around her ankles now that it’s no longer blocked.