“Take care of yourself, sugar.” Then I let her go. My bike roared to life between my legs and I took off, not trusting myself to look back. I didn’t want my last memory of her to be an image of her getting smaller and smaller as I drove away.
* * *
The driveback to Broken Bend took longer than usual thanks to me pulling over twice and wrestling with myself about whether I was making the right decision. I didn’t have an alternative, though. As much as I wanted to stay in Texas and give us a chance, she deserved better than a man who had nothing to offer.
When I got back to the apartment I shared with my brother, he and Gloria were heading out to grab a bite to eat.
“What the hell are you doing here?” His dark brows knit together.
“Change of plans. I got a call back on that long-term contract job in Taiwan. They’ve got me on a redeye flight tonight.” I didn’t have time to fill him in on all the details. Not when I’d spent too much time lingering over a long goodbye with Blakely.
“Taiwan? How long will you be gone?” Dom asked.
“The project’s going to take at least eight months, but they mentioned another gig in Turkey after that.” I brushed past him to get to my bedroom.
“I thought you wanted to stay in Broken Bend and work on the shop local effort.” Dom leaned against my doorframe. “What about your idea for taking over that ground floor spot in the old bank building?”
“That’s just a dream. This is a sure thing.”
“A sure thing that takes you halfway around the world. What’s Mama Mae going to say when you tell her you’re moving to Taiwan?”
Dom wasn’t holding back. I didn’t blame him, though. If he told me he was leaving the country, I’d be laying a major guilt trip on him, too.
“I’ll call her when I get to the airport.” I grabbed my suitcase from the closet and laid it open on my bed. Mama Mae had stepped in and raised us when our own mother had checked out. The only thing she ever wanted for any of her boys was for them to be happy. She would understand.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Dom asked as he stepped into my bedroom.
“Yeah. I need a job. This is good money. Really good money.” I started pulling clothes out of my drawers and shoving them into the suitcase. Whatever I didn’t take with me, I could buy there.
Dom crossed his arms over his chest. “There’s more to life than money, you know.”
I glanced up. “Of course I know that.”
“What about the woman you were supposed to be with tonight?”
My chest tightened at the reference to Blakely. “What about her?”
“When I talked to you earlier, it sounded like you were really into her.”
“Yeah, well, it’s kind of hard to date someone who lives halfway around the world.” I shrugged, wishing I hadn’t called him earlier to tell him I wasn’t planning on coming back until Sunday. He’d caught me at a weak moment and could tell something was up between me and Blakely. He couldn’t argue with the distance thing, though. I figured that would be the end of it. But Dom knew me. Knew me better than I knew myself sometimes, so he seemed determined not to let it go.
“I’ve never heard you talk about someone the way you talked about her, Kellan.”
Unlike Dom, who fell in and out of love all the time, I hadn’t ever been involved in a serious relationship. I kept telling myself there’d be plenty of time for that once I saved up, once I had enough money in the bank to know I’d always be able to take care of someone else, once I had a place of my own that no one would ever be able to take away.
“What do you want me to do? Tell them I don’t want the job and continue to earn a couple hundred bucks here and there by letting little old ladies grip my holly jolly ass?”
Dom wedged his big body between me and my suitcase. He put his hands up, palms out. “Just hear me out for a minute.”
“I don’t have a minute. I’ve got to leave for the airport.”
He shook his head. “You’re so fucking worried about doing everything right that you’re not letting yourself listen to your heart.”
“Oh yeah? Look who’s talking.”
“We’re not talking about me right now. This is your baggage, man. You think if you do everything right that you’ll never be in a position to lose it all like we did when we were kids?”
I caught the slight break in his voice at the mention of our childhood. Neither one of us talked about what it was like to watch our family fall apart, to not know if we’d have a roof over our heads every night. I’d vowed I’d never let myself be caught in a position like that again.