And fuck, it felt good. It felt like a release. It felt like a dangerous sin. My secret.
Once I was done, I cleaned up as I'd done many times before, taping some gauze over the cut. I went back to my room and grabbed my phone, ignoring all the notifications and powering it off. Robotically, I changed into a pair of jean shorts and a black v-neck. I threw on a thin flannel shirt to hide the evidence of what I'd done.
I had to leave. The feeling of suffocation was coming back and I needed to get away as soon as possible.
Mom had been driving one of Pete’s cars, so her piece of shit sat undriven in the driveway. I grabbed the keys and decided to give it a try. It was hit or miss if the thing started, but if it didn't, I would start walking and take a bus to my destination. It wouldn't be the first time.
I put the key in the ignition and after two tries, the old Camry fired up. I put it in reverse and headed toward Castle Grove.
Thethirty-minutedrivetoCastle Grove was going well until Mom's car decided to start rattling. It didn't like high speeds–god only knew the last time it had an oil change–which meant the thirty-minute drive turned into a forty-five-minute drive, and I had my fill of horn honking and bird-flipping from impatient drivers.
I pulled up to the compound where Dad had been living the last few years. It was also Remington’s new home, and I desperately needed my brother. Other than Gabby and Bronx, he was the only person I felt comfortable talking to.
The club was clever using an auto shop as a front for their littlebusiness venture. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the place looked like a well-oiled machine operating on cars, trucks, and motorcycles. There were signs for oil changes, tire rotations, engine repair, the works. The only thing that looked a little off was that the entire property was surrounded by a tall fence and barbed wire. Not suspicious at all.
I pulled up to the gate and rang the buzzer, waiting for someone to let me in. The car lurched forward as I put it in park, and I was seriously concerned about making the trek home.
"It's Sunday. We're closed. Come back tomorrow," barked a voice through the intercom.
"I'm here to see Remington."
"Who? Oh, Prospect? He isn’t allowed to have visitors."
"Then maybe you could let me in to see Rand Hawthorne," I said, getting irritated.
There was silence from the speaker.
"If you don't let me in, I'll just drive through the fucking fence. This car I'm driving is a piece of shit and I don't care if I smash it."
"Lady, you drive through that gate and you'll be met with more weaponry than the Navy fuckin’ SEALS."
"Then let me in and you won't have to go through the trouble."
The man sighed through the intercom. "What do you want with Hawthorne? You could just be some whore trying to breach the compound."
I could hear the smirk in the fucker's voice. He was toying with me. Okay, if that's how you want to do things.
I threw the car in reverse and backed up a few feet, preparing to gun it right through the fence. A man wearing a leather vest and baggy jeans came running out of the main building. He waved his hands as his sandy hair flopped in the breeze.
"Whoa! We just had that gate repaired!"
"Then open the fucking thing so I can come in!"
He stood there with a grin on his face. He couldn't have been much older than me. He crossed his thick arms over his chest and widened his stance. Like that was going to stop me.
I was fresh out of fucks to give.
I put the car in drive and slammed my foot on the gas pedal until it hit the floor. The car lurched forward andwent. The old thing still had some power. My head flew back on the seat and the car plowed through the gate effortlessly. The hot blonde guy jumped out of my way as I slammed on the brake pedal, careening right for him, stopping a few inches from his feet.
"What the fuck?" He asked as I got out of the car.
"You should consider getting a more secure gate. The security's lacking around here."
He laughed and pulled a gun from his waistband, pointing it at my head. "You want to explain who the fuck you are and what you're doing here? I'd hate to have to kill such a pretty little thing." He licked his lips, exuding a seductive yet scary vibe.
"Look, dude. Ihighlyrecommend putting that down. When mydad, Rand, finds out you pulled a gun on me, he'll skin you alive."
"And I'm supposed to believe you're Rand's kid? Why have I never seen you around here?" He kept the gun fixed on me, his eyes skimming my body.