Her heart bounced into her throat. The tree looked beautiful, softening the stylish furnishings and bringing the magic of the season into the space.
When she’d seen the small fir looking forlorn—the last one left on the Columbus Circle Christmas Market stall she passed on her way home each day—she had made an executive decision. Because she’d always wanted a real Christmas tree, just once. She’d then gone a bit crazy, buying coloured lights, shiny baubles and too much gaudy tinsel, and hefted the lot home through the slush. The cleaning-service maids had helped her set it up. She’d given them both a big tip before they’d left for the evening.
She tilted her head. She really wasn’t sure what Alex would make of the chintzy addition to his designer bachelor pad. She knew he wasn’t big on Christmas, or so he’d insisted. But he’d seemed to enjoy all the festive fun as much as she had in the last few weeks. She huffed out a laugh, recalling the snowball fight they’d had a few days ago, after he’d insisted on teaching her how to make a snow angel in the park... Which had basically entailed him flinging her backwards into a snow bank then sitting on her. It had been worth getting soaked, though, to see the boyish amusement in his hazelnut eyes and then the mock outrage when she’d ended up besting him in the snow battle that had followed.
The grin that had been lurking all day spread across her face and reflected in the glass.
Alex wouldn’t mind, this would be just another great memory they could share of her best Christmas ever before New Year came and they parted... She swallowed, the smile faltering.
Stop it. No silly emotions. No regrets. You promised.
She brushed her hands on her jeans, the grin returning when she heard the ding of the elevator doors opening.
Finally, he was home. She couldn’t wait to show him the tree.
She switched off the room’s main lights. The spellbinding effect of the colourful tree lit up against the Manhattan skyline made her breath stutter before she shot down the hallway.
‘Alex, I have a surprise for you,’ she announced as he stepped out of the elevator.
Her smile fell when his head lifted. The fierce appreciation she had become used to whenever he arrived home, or she did, had been replaced with a blank, weary, oddly tight expression.
‘Hi, I got hung up on something at the office,’ he said, unwrapping the scarf around his neck, and dropping his briefcase on the hall table. But instead of hauling her into his arms and kissing her senseless—their go-to greeting after a day spent apart—he simply stood there.
‘What surprise?’ he asked.
At exactly the same moment as she said, ‘What’s wrong?’
The blank expression became remote.
‘Nothing’s wrong,’ he said, but something about the sharp tone made her sure something definitely wasn’t right.
She’d been careful not to stress about the fact it was already eight o’clock. She’d waited after getting the tree set up to decorate it with him. They usually arrived home together. Scratch that. Theyalwaysarrived home together, or he was here already. But when he hadn’t put in an appearance, she’d stopped herself from texting him to ask him where he was.
She wasn’t a wife, or even a proper girlfriend, she didn’t want to appear needy or demanding. They simply didn’t have that kind of hold on one another. This was a fun, seasonal escapade, nothing more.
After twenty minutes of stressing about not stressing, she’d got busy decorating the tree on her own. It would make more of an impact that way, she’d told herself. And while it might have been fun to decorate it with Alex, he wasn’t particularly domesticated. She didn’t want to turn the whole thing into a chore, when it had been her idea. And she’d had such fun doing it alone in the end, it hadn’t mattered.
But when he asked again, ‘What surprise?’ she had to paste the smile back on and make an effort to regain the excitement of moments before as the insecurities she’d kept so carefully at bay crept back.
Had she made a stupid mistake? Crossed a line she hadn’t intended to by buying the tree? It hadn’t seemed like such a big deal, until this moment.
They’d been living in the penthouse together for three weeks—sharing breakfast each morning or spending lazy weekend mornings in bed. They’d used it as their base for all their festive adventures, and made love pretty much everywhere but the broom closet. He’d cooked a few times and so had she and they had shared takeaway feasts from every local restaurant and eatery, dozed on the couch watching a cheesy weepie one night and a loud action thriller the next. He’d even got hooked on her oatmeal for breakfast, much to her astonishment, and his.
But she felt strangely apprehensive now about showing him the surprise she had been anticipating showing him for hours.
Och, get over yourself, Ellie, and stop messing about. It’s a wee Christmas tree, no big deal. It’s not as if you’ve re-wallpapered his penthouse in tartan paper.
‘Right,’ she said. ‘The surprise.’ She held out her arm to direct him down the corridor. ‘Come this way, Mr Costa. The Christmas elves have been busy...’
Maybe her joy sounded forced, but she refused to overthink his reaction.
‘Ta-dah,’ she said as she led him into the room, the tree sparkling like a beacon, the joyful coloured lights so festive her heart began to pound.
For a long time he didn’t say anything. She couldn’t turn to look at him, her heart shrinking with each second of silence that ticked by.
Is he getting bored with Christmas...? Bored with me?
The thought whispered in her head, insidious, and devastating. Upsetting her more than it should. This relationship had always had a time limit, just like the season itself. When had she stopped believing that in her heart?