But now he’d gone and ruined it. Because the minute the offer had left his lips, her heart had begun beating in double time. And for one sweet, blissful moment she’d thought she could say yes. But as he’d continued speaking, and she’d realised what he was really offering—just an extension of their casual fling for another month—she knew she’d be a fool to agree to it. Because she was already way more invested in this fling than she had any right to be.
He’d been her first and only lover. And while she didn’t want that to mean something, somehow it did. And not just because he was such an inventive, generous, experienced lover—who seemed to know just how to touch her, to tempt her, to make her beg. But because he had so many secrets. So many facets he wouldn’t let her see, which intrigued and excited her. Even though she knew they shouldn’t. Because she very much doubted he wouldeverlet her see them.
‘I canny do it,’ she said. ‘I canny go with you.’
His dark brows launched up his forehead, shock suffusing his features. ‘Why not?’
The unguarded arrogance would have made her laugh, if the pain in her chest weren’t making it so hard to breathe.
‘Because I have a job here,’ she said, going with the practical, for once. Something she’d forgotten while living in his unattainable world for four glorious days and nights.
But she was back in the real world, now.Herworld. And she couldn’t afford to venture into his again. Because it was intoxicating. Not so much the luxury, the indulgence, but Alex Costa himself.
It occurred to her the real draw had always been him. His taciturn charm and all the things she didn’t know about him had begun to fascinate her—like where he came from, how he’d earned so much so young, why he was so devoted to his pal Roman, why he didn’t have a family to spend Thanksgiving with...
‘But that’s not...’ He looked even more astonished, but then his lips kicked up in the assured smile she had always found so hot. ‘You won’t need to work, Eleanor,’ he said, as if it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. ‘I’d pay for everything, obviously. And when we decide to part ways, I can support you until you find a new job. I own a lot of realty in Manhattan. You can pick out an apartment to live in, free of charge, for as long as you want.’
She stared at him. Did he even realise how insulting his offer was? Apparently not from the confident smile, which she was finding a lot less endearing.
‘Well, thanks, but no, thanks,’ she said, then turned to stalk into the bar. The tidal wave of indignation was welcomed in to combat the hollow feeling of hurt. Hurt she knew she had no right to. She’d jumped into this relationship on his terms. But she had to end it now on hers.
‘Hey, Ellie, you’re back.’ Her boss, Bethany Sullivan, sent her an easy smile, but her gaze remained fixed on the man behind her. ‘Looks like you had an even more eventful Thanksgiving weekend than I did,’ she added, the smile now full of undisguised curiosity.
‘Yes, but now it’s over,’ Ellie said. ‘And I’m eager to get back to work.’
Alex’s gruff voice interrupted them both. ‘What the heck do you mean, thanks, but no, thanks?’
She spun round. So he was going to insist on doing this in front of her boss, a woman she respected and whom she hoped respected her.
‘What I mean is...’ she enunciated the words clearly ‘...I’ve no plans to become your kept woman. I have a job here, and commitments which are important to me. Is that clear enough?’
‘Kept woman?What the...?’ His voice rose to match hers. ‘What century are you living in?’
‘Okay, mistress, then, paid escort, sex worker,’ she added, throwing her hands up, as her own temper took hold. ‘Whatever you want to call it.’
‘Damn it.’ He went to grasp her elbow again. She jerked her arm away from him. She must not let him touch her. He had a hold on her he’d exploited. A hold she’d happily let him exploit. But she needed to break that hold now. Or she’d be even more vulnerable to all the ‘what ifs’ than she was already.
‘Eleanor, this is nuts. All I want is for you to come stay at my place for a month,’ he said, sounding genuinely exasperated now. ‘So we can get the DNA test done and I can show you New York at Christmas. We can enjoy ourselves the same way we have over the last four days. Why are you turning that into an insult?’
‘Just answer me this, would there be sex involved?’
‘I sure as hell hope so,’ he shot straight back.
‘Then there you have it,’ she announced. And marched right past Bethany, who was staring at them both open-mouthed.
She didn’t care, she thought as she slammed the bar door shut. The two regulars inside both jumped. She greeted them through gritted teeth, saying she hoped they’d had a happy Thanksgiving—then loaded up the dishwasher with enough force to crack a beer glass.
‘Okay, calm down, honey, before you break enough glassware to put me out of business.’
She whipped round to find Bethany standing behind her. The concerned smile made the hole in Ellie’s chest open up again.
Alex was probably climbing back into the helicopter as they spoke. And then he would be gone. And she would never see him again. She’d never feel that heady adrenaline rush every time he touched her, tasted her, tormented her. But worse than that, she would miss the man himself, the one she’d discovered out of bed—she would miss that guy’s charm, his wit, his confidence, even his arrogance, and the way he looked at her. As if all the things about her she had been told needed to be curbed and controlled—her recklessness, her wildness, her desperation to experience everything to its fullest—were actually things to be nurtured and admired.
While she wanted to feel vindicated, and righteous and pleased with herself, for rejecting his insulting offer, all she felt now was deflated. Over the last four days, he’d made her feel as if her flaws, her weaknesses, were also her strengths, and that had been so intoxicating.
She wrapped the broken glass in some newspaper and dumped it in the trash.
‘I’m sorry you had to witness that,’ she murmured, embarrassed now, as well as sad. She’d overreacted, that much was obvious.