That got her attention. She turned to look at him, a quizzical look on her beautiful face.
“Tying my offer of help to marriage wasn’t a means of protecting my finances or ensuring the money was properly spent. It was part of my revenge.”
The bleakness that appeared in her eyes made him hurry on.
“That was how I saw it when I made the offer to Daxon. I reasoned that because I would be helping a country, and rescuing you from a poor financial situation, it was okay for me to get some benefit, too.” His voice turned bitter as he forced out the words. “I saw myself as a knight in shining armor for both you and Linnaea. I was so proud of myself for intertwining my revenge with what I saw as helping that I didn’t stop to think about how my motivations tainted what I was doing.”
Briony reached over and laid a hand on his knee. Just that simple touch, her gloved hand on his leg, nearly made him reach over and haul her onto his lap. But there was too much left unsaid. And if she did decide to not kick him out of her life forever, it had to be her choice, not him forcing her.
“I started to realize what I was doing was unfair when I first got to know you. Because you weren’t some helpless damsel in distress. You were a living, breathing, compassionate woman who worked hard to provide for her family, harder than I ever have.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Briony said softly with a small but kind smile. “You wouldn’t have the wealth you do without some hard work.”
“Wealth that got a very generous start from my Aunt Alecine’s husband.” Slowly, he laid his hand on top of hers and murmured a silent prayer of thanks when she didn’t pull away. “The more I got to know you, and the more I worked with your brother, the more my focus started to shift. It was no longer about punishing your father. It started to be about what it should have been all along—helping the country avoid a depression and regain its footing.”
Briony’s lips parted, but then she looked away.
“What is it?”
“It just...if things started to change, why did you...”
“Send you away?”
She nodded, her gaze still focused off to the side. He ached to hold her, to comfort her and wipe away all the pain he had caused her.
“Because I fell in love with you.”
For a moment, he wondered if she’d heard him because she just continued to stare into the fire. But then slowly, so slowly it nearly tore him apart, she turned to look at him, her eyes wide, lips slightly parted.
“What?”
“I fell in love with you,” he repeated. “And it was wonderful and terrifying. The guilt I’d been feeling since I met you took over. I felt like I was just as bad as, if not worse than, your father.”
“How could you possibly be worse?”
“Because he has no conscience. I have at least somewhat of a conscience, and I still proceeded to pressure you into getting engaged and leaving your life behind.”
Briony shook her head. “You offered me a choice.”
“Between redemption and devastation.” No longer able to stop himself from touching her, he slid his gloves off. Then, with slow movements, he slid hers off as well. Her breathing quickened as a blush crept over her cheeks. Slowly, ever so slowly, he entwined his fingers with hers, his heart racing as if he were a teenage boy on his first date. Amazing how Briony brought even the simplest of things to life.
“You’re being too hard on yourself, Cass.”
“I’m not, Briony. And it wasn’t just how I’d treated you.” He frowned, remembering Alaric’s too-accurate analysis of his history. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I’ve felt about you. The one example I’ve had of so-called love ended in devastation for my entire family. My aunt and father described such emotions as weakness. It’s hard to rework one’s lifelong views in such a short time, especially when guilt weighs you down.”
“What changed?”
Cass smiled ruefully. “Your brother started me down the right path.”
“My brother?” Briony repeated disbelievingly.
“After he threatened to punch me.”
Her eyes swept over his face. “Did he actually hit you?”
His hand came up and cupped her cheek once more. “Not physically. But emotionally, yes. He told me how foolish I was, that it was evident how much I cared for you. I resisted at first. But I offered to rework the contract so the financial agreement would no longer be tied to our marriage.”
“Why?” she whispered.