She doesn’t want the world. She wants you. You don’t deserve her after what you’ve done.
That reminder had made him put his phone down and lie back down. Even if he could overcome his decades-long commitment to never let himself make the same mistakes his aunt and father had, how could he begin to forgive himself for what he’d done to Briony? How had he ever thought that forcing her into marriage was better than what Daxon had done? Those thoughts had kept him tossing and turning until the first crack of dawn had finally roused him from his bed. Needing a distraction, he had donned his winter gear and traipsed out into the cold of a November morning before the majority of the palace had awakened. He’d avoided looking back, knowing his gaze would be drawn to a certain balcony and the room beyond.
Briony had fallen for a lie. She may not have realized it yet, but one day she would. And then not only would he still not be worthy of the incredible gift she had offered him, but she would leave. Leave like Daxon left Aunt Alecine. Leave like his mother had left his father.
Which just confirmed that he was a coward. That he would give in to his fear instead of take the risk like Briony had. Another confirmation that he wasn’t good enough for her.
He circled around the north end of the small lake and headed back toward the palace, the sun climbing higher in the sky until it finally crested over the mountains. A golden glow bathed the landscape. It also obscured the figure moving swiftly toward him until the man was nearly upon him.
“It’s difficult to kick you out of the palace when you’re nowhere to be found.”
Alaric’s voice rang out across the field. Cass turned, resigned to whatever punishment Alaric was prepared to deal him.
“My apologies. I was on my way back. I can be in my room within twenty minutes if you’d like to schedule my eviction around then.”
Alaric’s curse reached him before he was able to blink the sun out of his eyes enough to see the prince’s towering figure trudging through the snow. Alaric’s face was a thundercloud, his lips stretched into a tight line.
“I would prefer to punch you.”
Cass spread his gloved hands out. “I’ll give you the first one for free.”
Alaric snorted. “That wouldn’t be as satisfying. Besides, a punch can’t begin to compare to how much my sister is suffering.”
A different kind of pain, sharp and cold, pierced his heart. It wasn’t the pain of being out in the snow for too long. No, this was heartache at knowing he had hurt the one person he cared about more than anyone.
His eyes flew open as he straightened. He did care for Briony. Deeply. So much that he was prepared to give up the one thing he’d been working toward for nearly twenty years.
“I ended our engagement because I can’t give her what she deserves.”
Alaric arched a thick brow. “And what is that?”
“Love.”
Alaric groaned and scrubbed a gloved hand over his face. He stomped over to a tree and leaned against it.
“I’ve seen the way you look at her, Cassius. You care for her.”
“Of course I care for her,” Cass growled. “How could I not?”
“So what is the difference between caring for and loving her?”
“Love can only last for so long before reality takes over. It may work for some people, but genuine affection and friendship last far longer in most cases.”
“So why not give her that instead of making both of you miserable?”
“Because your sister thinks she loves me,” Cass replied softly. “And she deserves to have someone who can give her something more in return than I’m capable of.”
Alaric stared at him for a long moment. Cass returned his stare. He knew he was being evaluated, measured, on the verge of most likely being banished from Linnaea forever.
Strangely, that knowledge didn’t make him feel angry or even desperate to find some way to stay. Unlike Aunt Alecine, he would deserve whatever happened to him. His dream of coming home, restoring his family’s honor and reclaiming what had once been theirs seemed like a pale, distant memory compared to his past few weeks with Briony. Even after she had learned of his subterfuge, she had loved him, faults and all.
“I think, unfortunately, you and I are a lot alike.”
Cass laughed. “Ah, yes. The jet-setting Mediterranean prince with a slew of broken hearts in his wake and the ice-cold heir apparent to the winter country of Linnaea. We could have been separated at birth.”
“You don’t love because you’re scared.”
His laugh abated as he slanted a glare at the older man. “Sounds like you talked to your sister last night. I have been many things in my life, but I’ve never made a decision out of fear.”