Other memories rushed through. Trey asking her to call him by his name, not “Papa” or “Dad.” Trey giving her a pat on the back before he swooped Stacy and Ella up into a boisterous hug. Marie, quietly asking Trey to be more affectionate with Briony and Trey assuring her he just needed more time.
Loving family isn’t a requirement.
Cass’s words returned, circled around in her mind. At first, she’d been excited to love Trey and the twins, to have a complete family like the other kids at school. But then, as it had become apparent that she would be treated more like the daughter of a friend than an actual daughter, she’d continued to hold out that maybe, one day, she would do enough, be enough, to be loved in return.
It would never have been enough, she realized. There was truly nothing left for her in Kansas, a thought that should have been depressing but instead felt like the shackles of her own making were falling off, leaving her feeling lighter than she had in years. She turned, pulled up one of the window shades and looked out across fluffy white clouds hanging against a beautiful blue sky. She could almost believe it was a foretelling of what was to come. The chance to start anew, to make something of herself and support the recovery of a country.
And her father. He hadn’t come to visit her personally, but he’d still come after her in his own way, still put in the effort to find out about her life and invited her to become a part of his. It was more than Trey had ever done for her.
“We’re forty-five minutes out.”
His voice slid over her body, husky and dark. It called to her, awoke something deep inside her and filled her with an intense longing.
Don’t.
Cass had stated multiple times that love was off the table, that their relationship would be similar to what she’d known so far: an association built on what she could do for him. What he sparked inside her was physical. But beneath the burning desire that had slowly been building since he walked into her bar was something far more dangerous—emotion.
Forty-eight hours ago, she would have leaned into him, sought comfort from the man she was slowly falling for.
Except now she knew the truth. He didn’t want her. Everything he did, from the champagne and strawberries to any other grand gestures, would have to be taken with a grain of salt. He didn’t love her. Yet knowing that had almost been freeing. Unlike the one other serious relationship she’d been in and the handful of dates, there was no wondering, no questioning of where things were headed.
She turned from the window and met Cass’s amber gaze.
“I’m excited to see Linnaea in person.”
She kept her voice neutral, her attraction suppressed. There had been that one moment yesterday when she’d fallen into his arms after the unexpected bout of turbulence and she’d been clutched against him, certain—her traitorous body even hopeful—that he would kiss her. But the look of heat in his eyes had disappeared so quickly she must have imagined it or even projected her own foolish desire onto him. Aside from that one moment, he’d been noticeably less flirtatious and more businesslike, a stark contrast to their week of dancing around each other with veiled innuendos and seductive glances. She hadn’t just been acting confident when she’d flirted with him. She’dfeltconfident, sexy, even beautiful.
Remember that, she reminded herself. Even if he had been acting, she hadn’t. She had glimpsed a view of who she could be without the trappings of her narrow-minded family focus. She could be a confident, independent woman all on her own.
Doubt trickled in. Some of her excitement was for the adventure ahead, of moving to a new country on the spur of the moment, of becoming involved in something bigger than herself. But a large part of her enthusiasm rested on meeting her father and brother. Was she still pinning too much of herself on family? She’d been picturing a beautiful reunion, the kind she saw in movies where the father looked at his long-lost child with tears in his eyes as he drew her into his arms. But what if it didn’t turn out like that? What if her father was kind but distant, the way he’d been in his letter? What if her brother was resentful of her presence? Trey had once accused her of seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, of not accepting the bad with the good and putting people on a pedestal so high they couldn’t help but fall off.
She swallowed hard. At the time his words had cut deep as he’d tied his biting remarks into a lecture on the boy she’d been seeing. But now...she was doing exactly that. Combining her fictional dreams of her birth father with the actual man himself and idealizing him before she even met him.
What if she hadn’t left her former life for a better one? What if her father and brother rejected her and she was left alone in a foreign country tied for life to a man she barely knew? She wasn’t just embarking on some grand adventure. She was getting married. For life.
The sun disappeared behind a cloud, and the interior of the plane darkened. The unease that had lingered beneath the surface since she’d made her decision returned with a vengeance and left her adrift once more, ensnared in a tangled mess of loneliness, doubt and exhaustion.
“I took the liberty of purchasing some clothing for your visit to the palace.”
Cass’s words yanked her out of the storm swirling around in her head. She forced a small smile.
“Jeans and T-shirt won’t cut it for my first trip to see the king?”
His lips twitched. “Something more formal would be appropriate.”
With a quick nod, she passed through the doorway into a bedroom.His bedroom, she realized as she glanced around the small space. A full-size bed occupied one side, covered in a vibrant red comforter. Three dresses were draped across it. Her mouth dropped open. She’d never seen such beautiful gowns in person. Each one was a work of art.
“Anna Vega.”
She whirled to see Cass lounging in the doorway, hands in his pockets, a smug smile on his face that said he knew he had impressed her with his choices.
“Who?”
“Anna Vega. A very talented and sought-after designer.”
Briony swallowed hard. The most expensive thing she’d worn was a prom dress she and her mother had found at half price at a thrift store.
“So...expensive?”