‘No.’ His lips curved in a teasing and yet indulgent smile. ‘But apparently you do.’
Harper rolled her eyes. ‘I have a whole mouth full of them, more’s the pity.’ She gave him a self-deprecating smile and continued, ‘I spent years eating my feelings. It took me a long time to realise that no amount of yummy food was going to satisfy the emotional hunger I was feeling. I had to address the source of that hunger.’
A frown pulled at his brow. ‘And were you successful?’
She shrugged one shoulder. ‘Yes and no. I guess there will always be a part of me that hungers for things I can’t have.’
There was a loaded silence.
‘You’re not the only one who hungers for things they can’t have,’ Jack said at last, his mouth twisted in a rueful manner.
‘What do you still hunger for?’
‘Apart from you, you mean?’ His playful tone didn’t match the shadows in his dark blue eyes, the same shadows she had seen as they stood outside the gallery window earlier.
Harper gave him a mock-scolding look. ‘Be serious for a moment.’
There was another silence.
Jack picked up a teaspoon from beside his china cup and saucer even though their tea had yet to arrive. He toyed with the teaspoon like a baton between two of his long, tanned fingers, then he put it down again with a tinkle against the saucer that sounded eerily definitive. His eyes met hers. ‘For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be an artist. It was a yearning desire I had to suppress once my father became ill. I knew it was up to me and only me to keep the family business going.’
‘Oh, Jack, that must have been so hard.’
‘It was at first but, like most things, the pain goes away after a time.’
‘But does it really? I mean, you looked so wistful when we were looking at Etienne Aubuchon’s work. Is that what you wanted? To be a successful watercolour artist?’
‘Finding success is a bit of a lottery in the arts world,’ he said. ‘I had some talent, but it didn’t get the chance to grow and mature. But that’s okay. Not everyone achieves their childhood dream.’
‘Do you still paint? I mean, in your spare time, as a hobby?’
His lips curved in a wry smile. ‘Hasn’t anyone told you a workaholic has no spare time?’
Harper frowned. ‘And yet you’ve given up so much of your time to be with us.’ She glanced at their sleeping baby in the pram beside their table. ‘I can’t thank you enough for being so good about everything. It’s not been an easy few weeks.’
Jack reached for her hand across the table, his fingers warm and strong around hers. ‘Harder for you than for me, I think. You’re a wonderful mother, sweetie. I love seeing you with Marli. No one would ever guess you hadn’t prepared for her arrival like other mothers. You’re a natural.’
‘I don’t know about that...’ Harper looked down at their joined hands. Her engagement ring winked at her as brightly as the sun outside, reminding her of the purpose of this extra time in Paris. Jack wanted a final commitment from her. He wanted a date to be set for their wedding. But how could she agree to a wedding date when he wasn’t in love with her? Wouldn’t she be setting herself up for more agonising emotional hunger?
‘You’re too hard on yourself,’ Jack said.
‘Maybe.’
Their tea and pastries arrived at that moment but Harper had lost her appetite for anything sweet. Her appetite was ravenous for love—Jack’s love. Not just his physical lovemaking but to hear him say the words that no one had ever said to her apart from her friends. Her mother hadn’t been the I-love-you type, although Harper knew her mother had loved her. Poor Ruby did not have the same assurance from her mother but at least she had won the heart of Lucas Rothwell. No one could ever question his love for Ruby. It shone from his eyes, it vibrated in the air, it charged the atmosphere whenever he and Ruby were together.
Harper wanted the same from Jack, but was her dream too impossible, too far out of reach?
Jack woke during the night to find Harper wasn’t beside him in the bed. His heart gave a stutter but then he remembered she was probably up feeding Marli. But in that second or two of panic, it was like reliving the moment all those months ago, finding his bed empty with only the indentation of her head on the pillow to show she had even been there. He flung off the covers and padded out of the bedroom to find Harper gently putting Marli back in the pram in the sitting room.
‘I’m sorry I slept through her waking for a feed,’ Jack said in a whisper so as not to wake the baby.
Harper turned and smiled at him. ‘It’s okay. You looked pretty done in.’
He rubbed a hand over his stubble. ‘Yes, well, who knew being a tourist was so exhausting?’
She came over to him and placed a hand on his naked chest, and a lightning bolt of lust zigzagged through his body. ‘Was it sightseeing or making love until the wee hours?’
Jack shuddered as he recalled the passion they had shared. It never got any less exciting, any less thrilling and mind-blowing. Even juggling the needs of their baby girl didn’t seem to kill or even dampen their desire for each other. Didn’t that prove they had what it took for a great marriage going forward?