Harper swung back to stare at him. ‘You’ll come with me?’
‘But of course. How else will you look after Marli if I’m not there to help?’ Jack had no clue how to look after a baby for hours on end, but he was on a crash course to learn. He wasn’t sure how he was going to juggle his busy diary, but he had a good team of staff who would step up in his absence.
‘I could engage a nanny... Lots of working women do.’ Something about Harper’s tone suggested it wasn’t something she was completely convinced was the right choice for her. But then, there was so much she hadn’t had time to think through about becoming a mother. Jack was conscious that the implications of parenthood, particularly in the early weeks and months, were likely to impact more on Harper than him, especially if she wanted to continue breastfeeding.
‘You could but I would prefer to be as involved as I can, especially in these early months. They’re meant to be important for proper emotional attachment.’
Harper’s expression was cynical. ‘I thought you didn’t believe in emotional attachment?’
‘Not in a romantic sense, but bringing up a child is different. They need secure emotional attachment to their parents and caregivers.’
‘Yes, well, I know that more than most.’ Harper picked up the lullaby-playing unicorn and pressed the button on its tummy. The sweet strains of the lullaby filled the silence and her expression became wistful. ‘I used to have a teddy bear that played this song but I lost it between foster homes.’ She put the unicorn down and her expression became masked, as if revisiting that childhood memory had been more painful than she wanted to admit.
‘It must have been hard moving from place to place.’
‘I survived.’
But at what cost? There was a hard shell to her personality that reminded Jack of his own emotional armour. Was that why he had felt so drawn to her all those months ago? Seeing in Harper Swan a mirror image of himself? A person who knew what they wanted out of life and was determined to let no one and nothing get in their way. Who would let no one get close enough to hurt them. Who would let no one take advantage of them or disappoint them. Who was ruthlessly determined to keep themselves safe at all costs.
And right now he needed his own ruthless determination more than ever, for he was not going to rest until he had made Harper his bride.
Harper was discharged from hospital the following morning. She was privately impressed with how she had convinced the nursing staff at how well she was coping with sudden motherhood. But she had always been good at acting. Pretending she was fine when she was really struggling. Masking her true feelings so others didn’t suspect she was feeling vulnerable and alone. Adopting a confident I’ve-got-this manner when she had no clue what she was doing.
Jack came at the agreed time to collect her and Marli. Harper had to push her feelings even further out of sight, squashing them so deep inside her chest she could feel them fluttering under her ribcage like a flock of frantic finches. What if she couldn’t feed Marli properly? What if Marli lost weight and cried all night? What if she couldn’t juggle work and caring for her child? A nanny was out of the question. It brought back too many memories of being looked after by strangers in foster care. People who came and went in her life, some of them caring, others not so much. How could she leave her child in the care of someone she didn’t know or trust?
You trust Jack.
Did she, though? She hardly knew him, and yet there was something strong and dependable about Jack Livingstone. Something that had drawn her to him in the first place. Yes, he was a suave and charming playboy but he was also a man who had firm principles he lived by. His insistence on doing the right thing by Marli was a case in point. He hadn’t bolted as soon as he’d known he was to become a father. He had stood by Harper’s side and helped her deliver their baby girl. And he had offered to marry her and provide a secure home for their child.
But, as tempting as it was to accept such lifelong security for her child, how could she agree to a loveless marriage? But on the other hand, how could she deny her daughter the full-time presence of a loving and devoted father? Harper wanted her daughter to have everything she hadn’t had growing up, and high on that list was a loving father.
But what about whatshewanted?
Was it wrong to want love for herself? Or was she to be denied it in both childhood and adulthood?
Jack carried Marli in his arms and led Harper out to the hospital car park. Harper glanced at the shiny dark blue luxury model sedan complete with a baby seat in the back. ‘This is your car? What happened to the red sports car you had at the Tenterbury wedding?’
‘It’s back at the hotel. This is what we’ll use when taking Marli out and about. It’s the safest model on the market.’
Harper had many clients who could afford luxury weddings in exotic locations, but Jack’s wealth was on another level. He owned a chain of high-end boutique hotels across the globe. He could buy a brand-new car without flinching at the cost. Harper’s business was doing well but she still counted her pennies, every single one of them. A childhood living in poverty made it hard for her to take anything for granted.
‘I thought we’d go to the hotel until the house is ready,’ Jack said, pressing the remote control that unlocked the car with a musical beep.
‘What house?’
‘The house I’m in the process of finding for us.’
Harper frowned. ‘But I’d like to go back to my flat.’
A steely glint of determination lit his gaze. ‘You need support in these early days. And I want to be around Marli as much as possible.’
But that would mean Jack would be around her as well. Hadn’t she already betrayed herself by responding to his kiss in the hospital within minutes of giving birth? She had so little immunity to him, especially now with her hormones and emotions all over the place. ‘I don’t want to live with you, Jack. We’re not a couple and—’
‘But we are Marli’s parents and I don’t want my child living in a tiny flat that looks like it could be a fire risk.’
Harper wouldn’t admit it to him but she had her own concerns about her flat. The landlord had been lax about some of the repairs that needed doing and some of the other tenants weren’t exactly the nicest neighbours to be around. But she had lived in worse dwellings as a child. Far worse. The thought of spending a few days or weeks in a luxury hotel was rather tempting. More than tempting. It would give her time to adjust to being a mother, to get herself in some sort of routine with Marli. But the pay-off was she would be in close contact with Jack Livingstone, the father of her child. Six feet four of arrant masculinity. Oh, joy.
Jack placed Marli in the baby seat with such meticulous care that Harper found it hard to summon up the cynical dislike of him she had taught herself to feel. He wasn’t acting like a worldly playboy now, he was acting like a devoted father of a newborn baby girl. But would he revert back to his playboy ways if Harper didn’t agree to marry him? Or even if she did marry him? How could she trust a man she didn’t really know?