‘How soon?’
His expression was still difficult to read, although there was a line of tension around his mouth. ‘Don’t worry. We can still see each other in London.’ He pulled at the cuff of his shirtsleeve, as if it was annoying him, and added, ‘That is, if you’re still happy to continue our arrangement?’
Something about his tone sent a chord of disquiet through her. He sounded as cool and detached as he had when discussing the sale of his ancestral home. How long did he intend their ‘arrangement’ to last? And why had she allowedhimto dictate the terms? She had given up her own agency to indulge in a fling with him that she had known from the start could never go anywhere.
At least he had been honest about it from the get-go. Brutally honest. She was the one who had conjured up a fairy tale fantasy of them staying together for ever. Just like she had as a foolish teenage girl. She had imagined a future with Lucas Rothwell in which he was madly in love with her.
Ruby sent the tip of her tongue over her carpet-dry lips. ‘I’m not sure what you’re offering me. “Arrangement” sounds...temporary.’
‘It sounds temporary because itistemporary,’ he said in a crisp tone. ‘What else did you think I would be offering?’
Ruby pressed her lips together, her chest so tight she could barely draw in a breath. ‘I’ve wondered after these last few days together if things have changed between us. If you have changed.’
He made a rough sound at the back of his throat. ‘Why would I want to change?’
‘I meant in your feelings about me.’
There was a silence so thick a pin dropping would have sounded like a metal pole crashing to the floor.
Lucas let out a curt swear-word. ‘You know, I’m getting a weird sense of déjà-vu. The champagne has gone to your head if you think anything has changed in that regard. You knew the rules when we started this. You can’t say I didn’t tell you what to expect.’
How cruel of him to remind her of her embarrassing teenage crush. Didn’t he realise how much she regretted making such a fool of herself back then? And she would be making an even bigger fool of herself if she revealed her feelings now. Better to end things with her pride intact.
‘If you don’t mind, I think we should end our arrangement now. Tonight.’
‘Tonight?’
Was that a hint of shock in his tone or was she imagining it?
‘Why tonight?’
‘We’ve both achieved our goals. Delphine’s wedding has gone off without a hitch and you’ve sold Rothwell Park. We can part ways now, without hard feelings. Or, worse, catching feelings neither of us want.’
His forehead was screwed up in a perplexed frown. ‘Catching feelings?’
‘Falling in love.’
Lucas placed his hands on the back of his chair, his knuckles showing white beneath his tan. But his expression was as blank as the wall behind him. ‘Okay. We end it now.’ His voice revealed even less than his inscrutable features.
‘Thank you for allowing us to hold the wedding here. It was very generous of you not to charge a fee and—’
He held up a hand like a stop sign. ‘Can we just leave it at that?’ He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. His hand fell away from his face and he let out a rough-sounding breath and glanced in her direction. ‘I hate goodbyes.’
‘Yes, well... I’m not too fond of them either.’ She looked at the remains of their supper on his desk. ‘I’d better clear this away before I—’
‘Leave it.’
‘But—’
‘I said, leave it.’ His tone brooked no resistance.
Ruby stepped away from the desk, her heart as heavy as an anvil. ‘I hope you get your sight back, Lucas.’
‘Thank you.’
She hesitated by the door, wishing and hoping he would call her back and say he had made a terrible mistake. That he did love her. That he didn’t want her to leave.
A sob rose in her throat at the thought of never seeing him again, but she quickly disguised it as a cough. ‘Excuse me. It’s been a long day. And I think all those flowers downstairs are triggering my asthma.’