The moans carry through the walls, sneaking under the door, rising in tempo and pitch. I slide my bunny between my legs, letting out a soft moan of my own. I’m so wet that lube would be a downgrade.
Flicking the vibrator on, I close my eyes. My imagination is on overdrive, providing one illicit image after another. Thick masculine hands gripping muscular shoulders for leverage. Abs dripping with sweat…
And then Jameson’s deep voice murmurs, the words unintelligible. But then his voice rises just enough to carry. “That’s right… take it… fuck that’s so good.”
I crank up the speed. Thoughts of Jameson holding Bobby down, bending him over the bed, and riding him hard fill my mind. My stomach flutters, the first inkling of a climax coming so fast it catches me by surprise.
Before I can stop myself, the orgasm rips through me. It’s a flash in a pan, hot and fast, and gone in an instant. It takes me a second to realize why. My stupid vibrator diedright in the middle of my goddamn orgasm.What the actual fuck?
Frustrated with the ruined moment. I throw the depleted toy back toward the box it came from. Huge mistake. It bounces off the side and lands on the hardwood floor.
Apparently the battery was onlymostlydead, because the second it hits the floor, the thing cranks right back up at full speed. It vibrates with all the intensity of a jet engine, skittering across the floor and under the bed.
“Oh, no. No-no-no-no-no-no-no!” Panicked and desperate to shut the rogue vibrator off, I reach for it, trying to catch the hot pink bunny before it disappears into the depths. This proves to be a bad choice. In my haste, my leg tangles in the covers and I topple off of the tall bed, landing on the floor with a loud and distinctly ungraceful thump.
“Shit.” Scrambling my naked ass under the bed, I finally get a hand on the vibrator and shut it off. “You are going straight in the trash,” I tell it. It’s an empty threat. I’d probably die without it and I’m not keen to test the theory.
There’s a frantic knock on my bedroom door, and I hear both Bobby and Jameson calling my name, asking if I’m okay. Jesus. How do I answer that? I open my mouth but in the absence of any explanation, the only thing that leaves my lips is a pathetic squeak.
The sound of splintering wood rips through the room and I see the door fly open. Two large pairs of bare feet step over the threshold and my body goes numb. I’m naked as a jaybird under this bed and holding a misbehaving rabbit vibrator. How in the actual fuck do I explain this?
“Hailey?” Bobby’s voice is wrenched with panic, and I can’t bear the sound. I tuck the vibrator behind me and stick my hand out from under the bed.
“Under here,” I call out miserably as the feet pad toward me.
“Jesus rollerblading Christ, what are you doing under the bed?” Jameson’s voice rumbles.
“Would you believe I was looking for monsters?” I ask, forcing out a shaky laugh.
Two palms press into the wood just a couple inches from my face, then Bobby’s smile-worn face appears as he lowers himself to the floor. “If you wanted to check if we have dust bunnies, you could have just…”
He trails off, his eyes going wide as he takes in the sight of me. It’s dark under the bed, obviously, and I’m laying flat on my stomach, so it’s not like he can see anything. But it’s abundantly clear from the look on Bobby’s face that he knows I’m naked. He averts his gaze. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Oh, yeah. I was getting ready for bed and my ring rolled under here. So, I… tried to get it.” I say lamely.
“Uh-huh. Naked?”
“Naked?” Jameson repeats, his tone disbelieving. I cover my face with my hands, praying this is all a dream; that I’ll wake up back on their living room couch, still holding the bowl of popcorn.
Bobby hops up and all I can see are ankles and feet. Bobby’s shuffle between me and Jameson. “Um… right. We’ll get out of your way. Let us know if you need help finding that ring.”
Jameson sputters, and it’s pretty clear from the way their feet are moving that Bobby is pushing him out the door. As soon as the door shuts, I lay my face flat on the floor and groan. That could hardly have gone worse.
I crawl out from under the bed and bury the offending vibrator in the bottom of the box. On the plus side, I’m no longer in the mood for it. I flop on my bed and pull my laptop onto my lap. I have a million projects I should work on right now, but my mind is all over the place. So, I do what most people do when they’re avoiding work. I get on Reddit and start scrolling.
Flipping through my feed, a post comes up from theOffMyChestsubreddit, catching my eye. Some poor man threw up on his boss, and when I click through, I find post after post of anonymous confessions.
It’sbad.The posts are all painfully embarrassing or just plain painful, but none of those people polished the pearl to the sound of their gay friends having sex, ruined their own orgasm, and got caught under the bed, completely nude with a rogue vibrator.
Still, I bet the confession feels good… I wish I had a girlfriend, a sister, or literally anyone I could confide in. But I don’t. I don’t even have a houseplant. Acting on impulse, I log out of Reddit and sign back in, creating a throwaway account; an anonymous log-in that I’ll never, ever open again.
Hiding behind the username OhGodNo024570 I type up a confession. A full confession; venting all of my sexual frustration, embarrassment, and secret desires. I dumpeverythinginto it, praying that if I can at least get it out of my head, I can start to move on.
My finger hovers over the ‘Submit’ button. I debate just deleting it, but I really feel like this is the only way I can clear my conscience and let it all go. I can post it here and let it all die a silent death, without ever seeing the light of day.
I scrunch my eyes and hit the button before shutting my laptop. Curling up under the covers, I try to forget my shit show of a night, and promise myself over and over that I’ll never masturbate in this house again. Probably.
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