Pregnant.
Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Parker?” I hear Lilah’s voice, but it sounds like I’m underwater. I can’t focus on her right now. “Parker are you ok?” I sink to the floor and put my head between my knees, trying to control my breathing but I’m panicking, every breath sticking in my chest.
Lilah throws the door open and I’m vaguely aware of her rubbing my back.
“Hang on. Ok?” Lilah disappears and I’m just beginning to get my shit together when she reappears with Lukas hot on her heels.
He crosses the bathroom to me and the look on his face is every bit as panicky as I feel. His eyebrows shoot up when he sees the test on the counter, but he passes it by to sit next to me on the floor, pulling me into his lap. Lilah makes herself scarce, leaving Lukas to take care of me.
“You ok, Freckles,” he asks, stroking my hair.
“I’m pregnant!” I blurt out.
He chuckles. “And you’re not happy about it?”
“No, I am! I’m just…” It’s hard to put the panic into words, but the gravity of bringing a baby into the world is just… so much pressure. The responsibility of it is overwhelming, and it’s not like I had a great role model to go off of. “What if I’m a terrible mom?” I say, voice cracking.
Lukas laughs, loud and warm as he holds me tighter, tucking my head under his chin. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever fucking heard. You know that, right? I’ve seen you punch someone for threatening to hurt an animal. You brought a hospital to its knees in defense of me. You love with your whole heart and body and soul. Our baby couldn’t ask for a better mother.”
Oh God. He always knows exactly what to say when it counts most. “God dammit, you’re making me cry,” I laugh through watery eyes.
“Better than panicking about crazy things,” he jokes back. “Let’s go. I’m taking you home.”
“The party isn’t over yet,” I argue half-heartedly, looking up at him. Not for the first time tonight, I’m itching to unbutton his white dress shirt and let him do dirty things to me with that necktie. I am dying to get out of here, but I don’t want to ditch my bridesmaid duties.
Lukas laughs. “Olive and Brooks took off already. He carried her out over his shoulder.” He shudders dramatically. “I’m assuming they have a game of Parcheesi to finish.”
“I mean they’re about to get married, so I imagine they’re going to— “
Lukas claps a hand over my mouth. “Parcheesi.”
I grin against his fingers. “Does that mean we can go home and play Parcheesi?” I ask, my voice muffled as I bat my eyelashes at him.
“Fuck that,” his voice drops as he strokes his fingertips down the side of my throat. “I’m going to take the mother of my baby home and fuck her so hard I knock her up again.”
Epilogue: Lukas
“Give daddy a hug, Sophie.”
I catch my daughter as she runs toward me, lifting her into the air. She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes so hard I can barely breathe. She puts her warm hands on my cheeks and gives me a sloppy kiss before wriggling away.
“Lemme go daddy! Aunty Owive promised me candy!”
I give my sister a death glare over my toddler’s head.
“She’s all yours for the night, so on your own head be it,” I tell Olive. “And don’t tell Parker that you’re sugaring her up.”
Olive pushes me towards my truck with a sarcastic sigh. “Can you leave already? I have a favorite niece to spoil.”
“Yay! Spoil me!” Sophie jumps up and down next to my sister, yanking on her hand. Her dark curls bounce around her bright blue eyes. She looks so much like my sisters, but those eyes and the light dusting of freckles on her nose are all Parker.
“Love you, baby,” I say, wiggling my fingers at her. She blows me a kiss before turning and pulling Olive back towards the house, already rambling about all the things she wants to do. Olive and Brooks are the perfect babysitters; so fun that Sophie thinks she’s getting away with everything and so terrified of something happening to her that I know they won’t let her out of their sight for even a second. Plus, Cujo is already inside, probably making himself comfortable on Olive’s white sofa, and he’s Sophie’s personal guard dog.
I get to the bookshop five minutes before closing and lean against the side of my truck, just out of sight, waiting for my wife to finish up with her customers. When she locks up and starts down the street toward her car, I whistle to get her attention. She looks up, confused, but the smile that spreads across her face when she sees me is enough to light up even the blackest heart.
“Where you headed, Freckles? You wanna go for a ride?” She drops her phone in her bag as she saunters towards me. The last five years haven’t changed the core of Parker, but the strength she used to hide has worked its way to the surface, making her more confident and beautiful every single day.