Featha stared blankly at Veral, her vibrissae puffed out, the tips moving erratically the only sign of her surprise.
“You cannot suspect me,” she said after the passing of several minutes.
Veral had come directly to her the moment the flyer returned to the compound. There was logic to what the Farhal Vazan had said, but he needed to set his own mind at ease by speaking to his mother-kin. In truth, he did not believe that his aunt would do such a thing. Manipulating the order of the household was a different matter from assassination of one’s mother-kin. And whether Featha liked it or not, Terri was included among them.
“No,” he said at last. “Whatever disagreements we have, I am aware of your loyalty to the household and protectiveness of our line.”
She stood from her couch, her vibrissae snapping through the air around her as she strode over to a table and poured water from a pitcher into a deep blue cup.
“Do the guards have a course of action planned?”
He inclined his head, aware that even though she was not looking directly at him that she was aware of his every movement in her rooms.
“Aside from his request to interview you, the head guardsman Vazan will be sending his men out to make inquiries. There is little more that they can do. He believes the motivation may have been localized by her mere presence rather than an intentional strike against Terri or our line.”
She paused, head cocking. “Do you agree with his hypothesis?”
Veral blew out a long breath, displeased to admit to his uncertainty.
“I do not know. It is a reasonable presumption based on the facts he presented, but I do not wish to dismiss a potential threat out of hand.”
“If you would have my counsel…”
“I would accept it with gratitude.”
The corners of her lips twitched.
“It has been many revolutions since anyone expressed gratitude to me.” She sighed and sank down onto her couch again, her expression turning thoughtful. “When you are the Ahanvala, it consumes you, but you do not see the demands. Your vision is shorter and more immediate for the welfare of our people, so much so that you do not feel the weight of responsibility but bear it without prejudice. You are honored to bear it. It becomes a part of your identity within your processors. You become blind to what would never have escaped your notice. Until this moment, I did not recall how long since I had gratitude. My advice is do not become comfortable in your position. Protect your mate with strategy as you would beyond the borders of our star system.”
“I am limited.”
“So I have heard.” She chuffed, the sound dry and lacking in any manner of amusement. “I agree with our mother-kin that this is a delicate balance that you must maintain on the edge of a knife. The charade must continue as you say, but do not neglect your mate. It has been… painful… to observe her grief at your absence.” She paused and whipped her head around, giving him a sharp look. “You will not share my words.”
“No. On my honor.”
“Good. I would not desire the situation that you have, to be torn between your line and your mate. Now you will taste the unpleasant bitterness of being the Ahanvala and see it for what it is more acutely than any other before you. It has potential to bring you greater harm than any other. Do not make my errors and twist your reasoning to preserve what you consider necessary or right. I make no excuse for my actions. They were deliberate and planned out to what I thought was logical.”
She paused, her mandibles clicking thoughtfully. “Our programming to seek logic blinds us all to a degree. It is easy to acknowledge why other species distrust us when we can be swayed to action by logic over loyalty when it comes to others.”
“My mate has suggested something similar,” he acknowledged, bearing the female’s amused chuff in reply.
He did not credit it at the time, but being back on Argurumal, he was less certain in his conviction. He was still considering this later when he left Featha’s rooms and the entire duration that he attended to his duties around the compound. How did one find balance with logic and reason when these were the highest ideals? The answer seemed to lurk beyond the ability of his processors to achieve. As the pain of separation from his mate grew throughout the day, he desired to confide in Terri and bask in the warmth of her comfort. It was a need that gnawed on him until he felt sick, but he continued to attend every task.
He could not let weakness win. He had to achieve the balance.
18
“Permission for quarter hour of your time,” a feminine voice spoke, breaking Terri out of her reverie.
When Veral didn’t come back to their chambers after returning to the compound, she had sought the solace of the gardens. Dreth stretched out in the chair at her side, his head angled up at the newcomer from where he had been going over something on the datapad he held loosely in his hands. He didn’t speak, though his eyes narrowed subtly. Terri followed the direction of his gaze and squinted up at the female hovering over her.
Unlike Veral, whose body was littered with clusters of cybernetics, or even Navesha who had long streaks of them running along her face and forearms, this female had a few small patches, hinting at minimal upgrades compared to other whom Terri had met within the compound. Her build was lean and strong though, giving the impression of being capable of greater speed.
Terri set her own datapad down, reluctantly tearing her attention away from one of her favorite old Earth novels. Since downloading the human language programs that Veral’s AI created from the information held in Earth’s satellites, reading had become an enjoyable way to spend time and an escape when she needed it—like now, when she desperately needed a distraction from her dismay over Veral’s recent strange behavior.
Maybe it’s just pregnancy hormones and I’m reading too much into it.
Pushing the thought aside, she smiled curiously up at the female.