I worry when five p.m. rolls around and there’s still no sign of Dominic. It’s not that I don’t expect him to be out late, but he said that he would be home in time for dinner tonight. I hope something didn’t come up.
I take my food to the living room and eat alone, watching a romantic comedy while I wait.
I think about messaging him, but at the same time, if he’s busy with something for the family, I don’t want to irritate him or sound like a nag. I don’t know how I feel. I just…I guess I miss him.
The front door opens just as I set my plate on the coffee table, and I get up, hurrying out of the living room. Arianna turns and grins at me.
“Hey, Sofia, how are you?”
There’s something sad about her smile, and my stomach plummets.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, wringing my hands.
Arianna looks taken aback but shakes her head. “I just came over to keep you company because Dominic’s been taken to hospital.” She quickly adds, “He’s fine. He just got a little beat up by some guys. He’ll be out by tomorrow.”
My heart feels like it’s breaking in two. Poor Dominic. I feel like this is my fault. He’s been getting hurt ever since he rescued me, and this all kicked off.
“There are extra guards,” Arianna says, “So you’re safe, don’t worry.”
I give her a brave smile. “Do you want some coffee?”
“How about I make us something? I used to live here, you know,” she comments, leading me through to the kitchen. “We all did, growing up before we moved to the bigger family home where Alessandro stays now.”
“Do you stay with Alessandro?” I ask, trying to keep the conversation going.
She shakes her head as she takes out two mugs. “No, I have an apartment that I pay for. Despite my brothers trying to convince me otherwise, I wanted it that way. I did, however, agree to a security detail.”
There’s something wistful about the way she looks, and I remember the bodyguard drinking with us at the club. “Do you have feelings for your security detail?”
She grins mischievously. “A topic for another day. For now, I want to know how you’re holding up.”
“I’m fine. I’m just really worried about Dominic. He keeps getting hurt because of me.” I look at her sadly. “I feel terrible.”
“Don’t,” she says matter-of-factly, “This is the life my brothers chose to pursue. This is an inevitable outcome. If it weren’t you, it would be some other reason. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”
There’s a moment of silence. I stare at my hands when her next question catches me off guard. “Sofia, do you care for my brother?”
I look up quickly. ‘I…”
“Like, do you like like my brother?” she asks, and she gives me a small smile. “Because he wanted to kill you the first couple of days, but now he seems to only care about your comfort.”
I blush. “Your brother is being very kind to me at the moment, but he’s still an ass.”
She giggles. “You can still care for him, faults and all.”
I look back at my hands and then take a deep breath, revealing the truth, “I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know how to reconcile my feelings for your brother with the fact that he kills innocent people. It’s just something that makes me hesitate.”
She sets her coffee down and sits beside me, facing me. “My brother only does what is necessary to protect the family.”
“He says that,” I say, sipping my coffee. “But it’s like he doesn’t feel remorse.”
Arianna shakes her head. “Could you imagine having to feel remorse for that, though? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a shitty thing for anyone to do, but it has to be done, and if you don’t pack that away, if you don’t compartmentalize that, it will drive you mad.”
I nod slowly. “I mean, I get it’s hard to deal with, but I just feel like it makes him so inhuman.”
Arianna and I sit there for a moment, thinking about our conversation, when she perks up. “You know…if you don’t fight it. If you treat the family as your own, something to protect and be loyal to. Something to be committed to like a relationship, it is easier to think of the horrible things that happen because they become a necessary evil.”
“A necessary evil,” I echo, finishing my coffee. “I’ll think about it.”