After one last kiss where she bites my lip, we get redressed and head downstairs. The party is still going strong, but this time, when the women notice me, their eyes shoot to my locked hands as I pull Olive with me to the front of the stage.
“I don’t see your boss, but I’m still hoping you’ll stay.”
“A deal is a deal, and you’re quickly becoming more fun than a book. You should feel honored. Don’t go and ruin it. Are you trying to chase me off?”
She looks at me expectantly. I didn’t realize it, but I keep asking her to stay when she’s said she wants too. Is it really so hard to believe she wants this with me? But there lies the problem—I’m feeling all these strong ways for her, and I don’t do relationships. It’s not a luxury I have as a dad. This can’t be more then fun.
My heart sinks as I take the stage. She’s going to think I’m an asshole if I ask for another deal. I’ll just explain things honestly, that I can’t get too attached. It’s easier if we just…what? Part ways? Hook up? Fuck, she’s gonna slap me across the face. I would.
Fitzy’s voice booms over the speakers as she announces me, and I can’t help blaming her for my predicament. I know her too well to think her push earlier was a mistake. No, she must have seen Olive behind me and sent us spiraling into this mess. I’ve always thought the best of Fitzy, but right now, with Olive’s taste still in my mouth, her staring up at me with adoration, I can’t help but feel bitter for what I can’t really have.
Fitzy knows me better than anyone and knows I can’t get into a messy relationship. Yet she still set us up. I’ll take responsibility for my actions.
When Olive screams, “One thousand dollars!” I fake my best smile.I want to wine and dine this girl, take her home to my bed, like I never do with any date. Something about her, though, makes me wish things for me were easier.
Not different, because I love my life and I love my daughter more than the air in my lungs, but I’ve never longed for what Whitney and Stephanie have until now. My best friend and her wife are still madly in love and work on their marriage even when times are hard.But that’s not a part of my plan. I keep things light and easy, no complications.
Penelope is a teenager now, and news like this would push her further away from me. I’m already struggling to be someone she wants to spend time with. As a matter of fact, I’m not great at being an adult myself, and I’m not sure how to teach her, but adding a complicated relationship to our already different dynamic might make her resent me.
Taking a deep breath, I go to my girl, who just laid down serious cash for me. I’ll be sure my card is what gets charged, as soon as I get a moment alone with Fitzy. I didn’t dare suggest it earlier, but I don’t feel right about it after her confession. And honestly, as she pulls me by the Santa suspenders for a kiss, I can’t think of anything else but her perfect lips.
I let myself selfishly indulge. Even if it’s the last one I ever get.
CHAPTERFIVE
Olive
We say our goodbyes as Leo tucks me safely into a waiting car. As much as I’ve tried, I can’t help the ear to ear smile physically hurting my face.
Is it possible Leo sucked out all my vinegar? I burst out laughing at the thought. The uncomfortable driver rolls up the privacy window to separate himself from the crazy lady, which only makes me feel lighter. As a matter of fact, I don’t think anything could get me down after tonight. Is this really my life? Did I really come all over his face just an hour ago and max out my credit card, just for another chance to do it again? Yes, and fuck yes.
No man before him has ever made me come so fast so hard. Actually, I’ve never come without battery-operated help. I thought it was me, that I couldn’t get out of my own head enough to enjoy it, but Leo makes me feel confident, like no man before him. I think I’m ruined. Just the thought of his dirty words replaying in my head has my center slick with need. God help me, I’m a mess.
We traded numbers, and when I get home, I send the promised I’m-home-safe text he asked me for. I don’t expect to hear back so soon, but he replies within seconds.
Single Dad Santa: I’m glad. I hope you sleep well *devil smiley face*
Oh dear lord, he uses emojis. This man is too much. A master charmer, but what do I say?
Me: I will be dreaming of red velvet suits and snowmen.
That’s cute and flirty, right? I hope he thinks about what we did with a smile, not regret.
Single Dad Santa: I hope that’s not all.
This is so much pressure. I should just say goodnight. No, I should use an emoji.
Me: Oh, there will be merry cheer, don’t worry *smile emoji*
Fuck, I’m awkward. Does he get it?
Single Dad Santa: Baby, I’m going to need details.
I smile to myself. He gets it. This is easy with him, and I should just relax.
Me: I keep thinking of you, and I don’t think I can sleep without touching myself.
Oh my god. Who are you, Olive? Are you possessed?