I wait for her to hang up before opening the glass door and stepping into her office. It’s always so bright in here, like a laboratory.
Katie’s face is plastered with that same uncanny grin as she greets me. “Hi, Aubrey! Were you able to get ahold of Mr. Leiman?”
Aubrey. Audrey. I doubt she’ll ever figure out which one is my real name. She juggles variations of my name the same way she juggles which sports car she picks for her morning commute. I’ve already given up trying to correct her.
“Yes, I was able to get ahold of him,” I begin slowly. “To be honest, I’m kind of scared of him. He seems very belligerent, and I don’t think we would have a good working relationship. It could be bad for the firm.”
This, of course, is my most professional way of sayingthank you for the opportunity, but I’m certain I’d end up hacked to pieces in the dumpster behind his bar if I meet with John face-to-face.
Katie seems surprised. “Really? I thought he was charming over the phone. You just have to understand that I’m working on the McCallister case right now, and that’s, like,millions, you know? Come on, put on your scary independent woman face and conquer,” she says, pumping her fist in the air.
I glance over at her 32 oz. coffee mug, scrawled with the words “GIRLBOSS” in sparkly metallic lettering. It’s twice the size of mine and considerably louder. I guess I’m not nearly as much of an addict as I thought.
I smile as sincerely as I can. “I guess I can try.”
“You can do it!” she exclaims as her phone starts ringing.
I turn to leave when she picks it up, heading into my own office to begrudgingly make a list of documents that I need to collect from this absolute cretin of a man. I do hope his attitude was only temporary. If he’s going to be like that the entire time, I might have to explain to my parents why I quit the job they lined up for me on the first week.
It must get easier from here, right? I can’t possibly get worse than John and his stupid bar dispute.
When I arrive home from work, I consider calling my mom and asking her how she’s dealt with unsavory clients in the past. Having defended hundreds of people who are actual monsters, I figure she’ll have some tips for me.
I dial her number, and even the sound of the ringing makes me anxious.
If that’s all it takes to put me on edge, how the hell am I supposed to keep a cool head when I meet John tomorrow?
“Hi, sweetie! How are you liking the firm so far?” my mom answers the moment the call connects.
“Oh, I’m not sure yet. So far, I’ve just been taking on a lot of low-profile clients, but there’s one in particular that I’m really not excited to deal with,” I say as I begin pacing around my living room. It’s a bad habit I developed as a teen that has been impossible for me to break. I’ve literally put holes in the carpet at my parents’ house.
“What do you mean?” my mom asks, her voice dropping in concern.
I sigh. “There’s this old man that wants to sue his alcohol distributor, and he just seems really gross. I don’t know how else to describe him. He’s angry and really disrespectful,” I explain, forcing myself to stop walking and stare out the window instead.
“Well, that’s just the way it is working with men. Either they’re condescending and handsome, or they’re condescending and gross. That isn’t something you’ll be able to avoid. It’s a male-dominated field, after all,” she replies, missing my point entirely. She’s probably distracted by her own work, as she so often is.
“No, I mean, I don’t feel confident enough to stand up to someone like that if he starts yelling at me or something. How do you deal with clients that try to intimidate you?” I ask.
She pauses for a moment. “It’s honestly just something that comes with time. The first client I ever had that committed murder was an absolutebeast.He could say three words, and I’d want to run out of the room screaming and crying,” she begins.
“So, what did you do about that? How could you do your job like that?”
“Honestly, sweetie, that’s just something that comes with time. You’re young and cute, so people will try to scare you or take advantage of you. You’ve just gotta’ learn how they work and make sure you know how to handle it the next time you see it,” she replies.
Wow, thanks.
I sigh. “Okay, I’ll think about that. Thanks, I love you,” I blurt, eager to get off the call.
She says goodbye and hangs up, and I almost feel more hopeless and confused than I did before.
I spend the rest of the night watching bad lawyer dramas that I used to obsess over as a kid. Re-watching them as an adult is painfully disillusioning, and now I realize that the characters I thought were strong, influential women were basically just carbon copies of each other with a different shade of lipstick. They’re all just there to add texture to an otherwise brooding, unremarkable male cast.
Is this what all of my dreams were based on?
Is it all just a stupid lie dressed in a pantsuit and poorly-applied eyeshadow?
The next day comes sooner than I could have ever anticipated, and I curse myself for not even trying to get a solid night’s sleep. I wasted all of my time with my eyes glazed over, staring through my TV as I ate an entire bag of chips on the couch.