The silken sheets feel like absolute heaven on my skin, almost so much that I completely miss the point of what he’s trying to say.
He’s right. I had never once asked to see our alleged wedding photos. I was too busy trying to regain my ability to walk that I focused all of my marital efforts on sex rather than truly understanding who it was that he claimed we were.
This is more of a blessing than anything because, had I asked to see them, he would have had absolutely nothing to show for it.
“We have no proof of our life as a married couple, even though it was never really true, to begin with. But... now that I’m pregnant, I feel like I wouldn’t even want any photos of myself if we did have a real wedding. I would be way too fat and bloated,” I lament.
“Who says you have to wait until there’s an actual wedding? You’re still so small. We could easily have you fitted for a dress before you start showing. We can do a photoshoot now so that you don’t feel self-conscious about it at the real thing,” he replies, inching closer to me until he’s close enough for me to put my leg over his.
“We’re really going to have a real wedding?” I ask, unable to contain the excitement in my voice. I feel like a little girl being told that I’m getting a pony for Christmas.
“I mean, obviously. If you want to be my wife on paper, the transition will be easy since you’ve been unwittingly playing the part for like three months already,” he replies, smirking a little.
I smack his arm playfully. “Well, fortunately, you’re an eccentric billionaire with a perfect jawline, or I’d probably have run for the hills by now if I could get my wheelchair that far.”
He laughs that contagious laugh of his. “For someone who forgot how to walk for three months, you really managed to retain your sense of humor. It’s a wonder you couldn’t find a man before.”
I know he’s joking, but his comment makes me think.
Had I never attempted suicide, who would I have ended up with? Who would I have settled for in order to fill the all-encompassing void in my life?
I think about all of the women who I had probably met throughout my life who were in the same position as me. Women who were just desperate enough to be loved that they would tolerate absolutely anything in order to feel like they had someone, anyone, there for them.
Then, I think of the kinds of men that those women tend to end up with. Even though it’s no secret that Adas is capable of lying for my own good, his intentions were nowhere near as bad as they could have been.
There are so many men who cheat like it’s an art, using multiple women to benefit only from their good traits and to cast them off as soon as the bad ones start to rear their heads. Some men will keep enough women around that they’ve virtually collected an entire woman’s worth of good traits while being able to ignore everything else.
Without Adas, I would have just been a part of a rotation.
Maybe I was. It’s hard to tell with a man who wouldn’t have cared if I went missing.
Without letting my mind race back into the darkness of my old life, I curl up into Adas, smelling his shirt and taking in all of his love with nothing but gratitude.
32
RIVER
It’s the day of the photoshoot that Adas arranged, and it’s safe to say I’ve never felt more beautiful in my whole entire life.
We found the wedding dress of my dreams, something I would have never been able to afford had I never met him. Even though I thought it was insanely expensive, Adas insisted that we buy it the minute I laid my eyes on it. He saw how enamored I was with it before I even had to open my mouth, but I was too scared to say anything.
So, he did it for me.
He hired a professional makeup artist as well as a hairstylist to make me look perfect for the day. I’ve spent the last three weeks obsessing over what hair and makeup combinations I wanted, worried I’d choose the wrong one and regret it every time I looked at the photos.
“Why are you so worried about such details? You are going to look incredible either way, and I promise that the women who will be taking care of you are more than capable,” he’d say, not even looking up from his phone when I would express discontent with my choices.
Whatever, he’s a man.
And he’s right.
I went with a light brown smokey eye with glowing skin and loose curls, feeling more like a goddess than a human to the point that I want to skip the photoshoot and lie in the sun eating berries out of a crystal glass while somebody plays a harp in the distance.
But the photoshoot is what’s here in front of me, so here I go.
Adas chose a classic black tux, and the first reveal of each other is just as overwhelming and emotional as I would have expected it to be. Even if we aren’t getting officially married today, it feels like real magic. It feels special in a way I could have never dreamed.
The location, though, is absolutely breathtaking.