I’ll blame it all on my scrambled brain syndrome.
It’s me, not him.
Just as my crying begins to cease, the French doors leading into the room open slowly, and a well-muscled man dressed in all black approaches me with my promised glass of cranberry juice.
“Thank you, Erik. How are things on the waterfront?” Adas asks this new stranger.
“Things are going well. We had some trouble with the cargo boats last night, but we were able to sort it out,” Erik replies with the sharp precision of a military sergeant.
“Alright, thank you for the update. Make sure that we get every gram of product to Santiago before it’s due to him. He always gives us an extra cut when we deliver early,” Adas commands. He pauses his check-in with Erik to hand me the glass, still so cold in my hand that I fear I might drop it.
Erik nods, both to Adas and me, and exits the room without another word.
I take a sip of the juice, and for once, I actually do feel like this was something I would have enjoyed in my past life. The sweetness playfully dances around the bitter notes, giving life back to my senses. I’m even grateful for the cold of the glass against my skin. Anything I can do tofeelalive, I’m determined to do as much as possible until I’m me again.
Whoever that is.
Adas’s devoted wife.
Supposedly.
“So, why cranberry juice?” I ask as I take another delicious sip.
Adas laughs. “We met at a bar downtown, and I was drinking a vodka cranberry. You drunkenly stumbled up to me and told me ‘did you know that cranberry juice is good for urinary tract infections?’”
I blush. “Please, I didnotdo that.”
“Yes, you did. It was so funny and unusual to me that I was instantly smitten by you. We talked all night. I felt like I had known you for my entire life by the time the sun came up,” he recalls.
I laugh nervously. I can’t believe I would do something so weird and sloppy in public to a man I was attracted to. At least I know I have a bold personality, I guess.
“Well, I’ll leave you to rest a while. Try to move around in bed as much as you can. Later in the day, I’ll come back to rub your legs for you. It’s for preventing blood clots,” Adas says as he rises from his chair. “I love you, River. I’m so glad you’re back.”
He kisses my hand one last time, then walks down the length of the room to the doors. I watch his shadow dance along the large Persian rug that blankets the marble tiles as he leaves, wishing for both eternal solitude and eternal daylight where I could ask as many questions as possible.
2
ADAS
River doesn’t remember a damn thing, just as I had hoped.
Sure, it’s going to be complicated to ease her into normal life here, but I have to find some way to make the transition easier. She doesn’t know who she used to be before the shooting, so all I have to do is make sure she never finds out.
Seeing her awake for the first time was jarring, but I knew I’d be able to keep things under control. Now that she fully believes that I’m her husband, she’ll likely trust me as long as I’m reassuring and warm towards her.
When I return to River’s room with a wheelchair, she’s lying on her back, staring at the ceiling with a forlorn, lonely expression on her face.
“Hey, it’s time to get you out of bed for a bit. It’s good for your muscles, so they don’t deteriorate,” I say as I approach her bedside. I lower the guard rail, cautiously reaching under her legs to swing them over the side.
“Do we have to? I still feel kind of… unsteady,” she replies in an uncertain tone.
“Yes, it’s important that we get you out of bed so that you don’t form clots in your legs. Then you risk a stroke,” I warn.
She sighs heavily, slowly sitting up and helping me move her legs over with her left arm. “So, you’re going to what, wheel me around the house? Building, whatever?” she asks. I can sense her annoyance and hesitation. She doesn’t trust me fully.
“First, I’m going to massage your legs. Then, I’ll take you around the estate and show you where everything is again. You loved it here before, especially the courtyard. It was your favorite place in the world to be,” I explain as I rest her left heel on my leg.
I begin to rub her calf, not too rough but just hard enough to get the blood flowing properly. “I know you can’t feel this, but it’s important that I do it,” I say as I work my way up and down her leg, switching over to the right and continuing.