And his touch… God, I squeeze my thighs together, shivering when I feel a slight sting, followed by a throbbing ache. The beast came out last night, and I loved every second. The way he stretched me open, how he knew just where to touch me to drive me wild. It’s like he was in my head, or maybe Remy just read my body that well.
I thought maybe this would be a turning point for us, though I know that’s not fair to Remy. He didn’t make any promises to be here in the morning or to take me on a date or even stay in contact during the school year. I guess my poor heart was hoping Remy would confess his feelings for me after sharing our bodies, but apparently not.
I throw back the covers, and a pang of sadness hits me. This will be the last time that I wake up in this bed, in this house, on this ranch. I’m going to miss it. Not just Remy, though I know I’ll always have a piece of me missing as long as he’s not in my life. No, I’m going to miss everything about this beautiful land and the kind and caring people who live here.
Shaking my head, I try to focus on the future, not mourn the past.
I’ll be moving back to town today. I’m going to be moving in with Malia since Monty will be staying at the Stud Farm with Griz from now on. It works out for me. I get to live with my friend instead of three other roommates, but it won’t be anything like living on the ranch with my growly beast.
I climb out of bed and over to the clothes that I left out yesterday. My bags are packed and stored in the closet, so there isn’t much left for me to do besides say goodbye and collect my last paycheck.
Cracking the door open, I poke my head out, looking from side to side. No sign of Remy. I can’t decide if I’m relieved we won’t have to be awkward around each other or devastated that he really just left me the morning after I gave him my virginity.
Shutting the door, I rest my forehead against it and close my eyes. I’m definitely more devastated than relieved. For a few hours last night, I let myself believe I was finally getting my fairy tale ending with the only man I’ve ever loved.
Silly, stupid heart of mine.
I change into my clothes and try not to stare at the bed as I roll out my suitcase and carry-on bag from the closet. Everything is packed from the bathroom, but I wonder if I should unpack it to take a quick shower. Walking around smelling like Remington is only leaving an ache inside me.
I head out to the living room with my bags, and freeze when I see Remy coming in the back door.
“All set?” he asks gruffly.
My heart shatters, the last of my hope draining away, replaced by a lead weight in my stomach. I want him to come to me, to beg me to stay, or at least give me some clue as to how he’s feeling.
“I suppose,” I choke out, curling in on myself as if that will protect me from more of his rejection.
Remy nods. It’s that infuriating nod that’s barely even a nod, just a slight movement of his head. I want to scream because I know what’s about to happen.
“Good luck with your classes,” he says, shifting awkwardly on his feet.
Un-fucking-believable. I let out a humorless laugh, sounding more manic than anything else. Tears threaten to spill, though I don’t know if they’re from frustration or heartbreak. Both, I guess. How can he be so callous?
“Thanks.”
We stare at each other, both of us waiting for the other to say something. I’m all out of words. Remy has to know how I feel about him by now. I’ve never tried to hide my feelings for him, not to mention the night that I got drunk and propositioned him. And we slept together! Does that mean nothing?
I’ve made things painfully clear for him, and if he wanted me, then he would have said something by now. At the very least, he could be in the same bed the morning after having sex, but he couldn’t even do that much. Remy obviously wants me gone, and I’m trying desperately to make that make sense in my head. I thought we finally connected. I thought…
One look at the man avoiding eye contact and shuffling on his feet, and I know my dreams of a future with him are over. He can’t even look at me.
“I should get going,” I say, hoping to come across as aloof as he’s being right now.
Remy snaps his head up, finally meeting my gaze. So many emotions flash across those deep brown eyes I’ve grown to love. Longing, loneliness, and yes, a little heat. But I also see regret, and that’s the final nail in the coffin. He regrets sleeping with me.
It hurts too much to dwell on right now, so I turn on my heel and make my way toward the door.
“I’ll walk you out.”
“I can handle it on my own,” I snap.
He seems surprised by my outburst, but I’d think he would be grateful. It’s less time he’ll have to spend with me, which seems to be his only goal at the moment. I don’t want to stick around and argue with him. I know that I’m seconds away from bursting into tears, and I don’t want him to see me like that.
I fly out the front door, my suitcase banging down the front porch steps, but I don’t stop. Not when I can hear his heavy footsteps behind me.
“Gwen,” he starts, his voice sounding from only a few feet away. Even though it’s stupid, I let hope blossom inside of me.
Just say it. Just say that you want me, that you’re going to call or take me out to dinner, I beg. I’m not asking for a proposal. I’d be happy if he gave me a hug and said he’d call me this week. Am I not even worth that much to him?