Chapter Fourteen
“Areyousurethedogs will be fine with your parents overnight?” I ask as I jump from the lifted truck. Logan releases a barked curse, ignoring my question.
Before he can accost me, I tug the waistband of my jeans up, doing a little wiggle and making sure everything’s tucked away. I’m smoothing down my lacy sweater by the time he reaches me, none the wiser to the issues high-waisted jeans cause women with fupas.
My outfit’s far more form-fitting and revealing than anything I’d ever worn around Cole. I almost second-guessed the whole thing, but when Logan had seen me step out of my room this evening, his reaction calmed my nerves.
Okay, correction. His reaction made me want to jump his bones.
“Don’t do that,” he growls, wrapping his large, calloused hand around mine.
Smirking, I roll my eyes. “Do what? Help myself out of the truck for once? Behave like a grown ass, independent woman?” I scoff. “I’ve been independent my entire life, Logan. Hell, I was basically taking care of myself, even when I was married.”
Logan comes to an abrupt halt.
Shit.
Panic fills me in an instant. I hadn’t meant to say that. Slowly, he pivots, turning to face me. “Excuse me?” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the loud music coming from the bar behind him.
I don’t respond—can’t.I can’t even bring myself to look at him. Tugging my hand, I try to pull away, needing the distance, and needing the space.
Needing to protect myself from the impending rejection.
Logan tightens his grip, refusing to let me go. He steps forward, closing the distance between us. I don’t allow it, retreating as he advances. He walks me backward, step by step until there’s nowhere left to go. My back hits the truck and anxiety claws at my throat. His meaty palms land on either side of my head, bracing himself against the cold metal as he bends down, bringing us face to face.
“Look at me,” he grunts. I ignore him, staring dutifully at my boots. I’m wearing my black leather pair tonight, the ones with a stiletto heel. They’re my favorites. They make my legs look a mile long, and my round ass look nice and plump. “Look at me, Shiloh.” His fingers grip my chin tightly, tipping my head back. Reluctantly, I meet his eyes. Though it’s difficult to see them in the dark, I can tell they’re narrowed as he stares down at me. “Wanna run that by me again?”
“Not really,” I mutter, swallowing thickly around the lump in my throat.
He growls. Legitgrowlsand I almost pass out from the sound.Shit,he’s gone all feral like some sort of bear shifter from one of my smutty books. My pussy throbs. Thoughts of all the filthy, knotty things those bears always do to their mates fill my head.
We stand in silence, our eyes locked together in a battle of wills. Finally, he breaks the tense stare down with words that shock me to my core. “Are you married, Shiloh?” His voice is guttural like he tore the words from his very soul.
My eyes widen as anger and indignation rapidly consume me. “What?” I all but shriek. “You-you—” I break off. My words and emotions are a mess. I run my fingers through my long, silky hair, creating tangles at the ends where they brush across my breasts. “How could you even think that, Logan? You think I’m what—here with you, cheating on my husband?”
He grunts out a sound that could honestly mean any number of things. Eyeing me, he takes in every inch of my face, my body, and my behavior. He’s analyzing me, trying to figure out if I’m being honest. Finally, he sighs, his body deflating some. “Tell me,” he murmurs, settling his hands on my hips. “Please, Babydoll.”
It’s thepleasethat breaks me. Breaks my will, and my resistance. As difficult as it is to talk about everything that happened with Cole, I owe it to Logan. He’s been nothing but wonderful to me, especially for the last few days.
He bared his soul for me this morning and all day at work, telling me tidbits of information about his life and his family. What it was like growing up in the country. I reciprocated, regaling stories about growing up in a low-income part of town in a mixed-race family. I told him all about my parents and how much they struggled financially. How much it affected our family and ultimately caused them to split when I was a teen.
I told him about my dad and his battle with PTSD. I told him how my entire family needed so much distance from one another that we all split, moving to different states the moment we were old enough. I told him that I love my sister Camila, but I kind of can’t stand her. I told him that even if my family and childhood were shit, I still can’t wait to have one of my own someday.
He learned my favorite food and ice cream. Where I went to college and my major. My birthday, my favorite holiday. The fact that I prefer rose gold over all other metals…an odd question he’d randomly asked. He learned that I’m allergic to peaches but love the smell of them anyways.
Today, Logan learned all there is to know about me and then some. I told him everything.
Except…this.
I couldn’t bring myself to do it. We’d had such an incredible morning that turned into an even better day. He held my hand, rubbed my neck, and played with my hair. Always needing to have his hands on me in one way or another. He kissed me stupid while we waited for the coffeepot to brew, and again when he returned from running errands. He explained the situation with my house as he fed me a home-cooked lunch, leftovers from the meal I’d missed last night.
It was bliss. Utter perfection.
I didn’t want to ruin it the way I am now as I tell him the sordid details of my relationship with Cole. The beginning, middle and tragic end.
I tell him about my PCOS and my miscarriage. I tell him how Cole lied and manipulated me into staying with him, despite the fact that he never wanted what I did. The way he body-shamed me, both verbally and physically. The way his actions and words made me feel. The heartache over my inability to conceive and the loss of my child, but the absence of heartache when I left my husband.
With every broken word and devastating reality that I give him, my soul lightens. I cry, and Logan holds me. I purge everything, right there in the middle of a busy parking lot, out front of one of the only bars Blue River has. I give Logan the burden of my past, letting go of the ugly pieces once and for all.