“It just so happens we have access to a full medical history on both patients. So we’ll compare and see what we find. And since you already mentioned it, my professional opinion leads toward medication.”
She pauses for a moment. Frowns. “I’m sorry?”
“I think some kind of medication put those shadows there. Find out how Mr. Roadrunner died. Find out what led to his face being smashed against a train, then work it back.”
Nodding, she collects her scans and slides them back into the folder. “He belongs to Kirk, so I’ll run him down and see what he can tell me.” Clutching the folder to her chest, Aubree slowly pushes up to stand. “I’ll compare his files to Melissa’s and see what happens.” Turning on her heels, soles squeaking on the tile, she drops her head and starts toward the door. “I’ll be at my desk if you—”
“Aubree, wait.”
I don’t get up. I don’t race across my office and chase the woman down for a hug. That’s simply not me. So I say her name and remain patient as she slowly glances back. As she turns her body and faces my direction.
“In here,” I start, “at work, we’re two professional doctors, doing the job. We’re good at our work and passionate about finding answers for our patients.”
“I don’t want a lecture on professionalism, Doctor Mayet. I already heard a little something earlier.”
“Shush.” Sitting taller, I rest my elbows on the desk. “In here, we’re professionals, and we get the job done. But out there,” I nod toward the city skyline outside my windows, “we’re friends. It’s difficult sometimes for me to remember that. To be open and real and vulnerable with people who, in here, are my colleagues.”
“You can’t be both?” she murmurs, her voice low, as though to cover the crackle in her tone. “You can’t just be my friend in every facet of your life?”
“I’m trying.” I drag my bottom lip between my teeth and study Aubree’s expressive eyes. “I’m not used to the kind of life where I have friends everywhere I go. And I’m sure as hell not accustomed to sharing my feelings all over the place. But now I have ArcherdemandingI use theLword. And then I have you, wanting me to report backbecauseI used theLword.”
“It’s not a report,” she grumbles. “It’s a friend talking to a friend. It’s someone who cares about you on a personal level, wanting to know about all the other things you care about. Good and bad.” She stops and shakes her head. “I wasn’t trying to pry. I was checking in on something really quite huge in your life.”
“I felt blindsided,” I admit. “Because I’m not used to all this. And I’m… insecure,” I use her word and accept the way she watches me, “because Archer is another person I’m not used to. And here he is, caring about me anyway. In New York, I lived alone, and I really liked it that way. I went to work, I went home. I didn’t make friends, and any who tried were gently brushed off. But Archer won’t be brushed away. And it turns out, neither will you. It’s taking me a minute to rewire my brain for a world completely different from what I know, so though I hurt your feelings—and lord knows, I hurt Archer’s every single day—maybe you could give me a little grace when I find myself in these situations where it feels like I’m drowning in things I’m not accustomed to.”
Sitting back again, I draw a deep breath and exhale so my chest shrinks. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. And I’m sorry I made you feel like you don’t matter. The fact is, I feel likeI’mthe one who shouldn’t matter, and every time you people get loud, that insecure part of me worries it’s all going to be yanked away again the moment I get comfortable.”
Aubree takes one step back in my direction.
Then another.
Another.
Shaking off her mood, she crosses my office and parks her ass on the corner of the desk. “I have so many brothers and sisters, I honestly don’t know how not to be loud and demanding. Weshoutthat we love each other. We say it every single time we’re together, even when we’re fighting. And always,alwayswhen we share a meal. We’re all on the same level, Mayet. No one is more important than anyone else, and no one is left out. That means I’m gonna be loud sometimes. I won’t mean to be, it’s just my default setting. But maybe you can give me grace and know I’m trying my best to tailor the way I love you so you’re comfortable. In exchange, I’ll give you grace, too. Just because you’re not loud doesn’t mean you don’t love me. And just because you haven’t spilled all your secrets doesn’t mean you’re excluding me. It just means you’re a private person.”
“I told Archer thatifwe marry, wemustinvite you.”
Aubree’s eyes well up, but to counter the tears that threaten, her lips curl into a smile. “You did?”
Nodding, I reach across to silence my desk phone when it trills. “I swear. I haven’t said yes yet. I’mterrifiedof accepting a wedding proposal. Just thinking about it,” I raise my hands and show her the way they shake, “I get cold sweats. But he knows that about me too. He’s tailoring the way he loves me so it’s comfortable. But I said that you had to be there. Because you’re my friend and you deserve a part in that.”
“I’ll be the best maid-of-honor in the history of the world!” Loud again, Aubree drapes herself across the desk and drags me into a hug that borders on snapping my neck and crushing my lungs. “I’ll be whatever you need me to be to make your big day special.”
A nervous laugh rattles through my chest as I pull back. “I haven’t said yes yet. And when I do, it’s not going to be a bigthing. It’s going to be us dropping by the courthouse and signing some papers. Maybe we’ll go out for burritos after, but that’sit.”
She watches me like I’ve said something completely preposterous. Like I’m an idiot who doesn’t yet realize I’m an idiot. “Will you wear a gown?”
“No. That’s not gonna happen.”
“Will Archer wear a suit?”
“I don’t know.” When my phone starts again, I silence it. “He might, if he’s feeling showy that day.”
“Will there be a church?” Her voice rises a few octaves. “An aisle?”
“There could be, if you consider us going to the store afterward to buy chips and dip an aisle.”
“I don’t!” Shoving off the desk, she turns back to burn me with a glare. “I’ve been waiting my whole life for this day, and now you’re going to ruin it?”