“You tried to help her so many times. She didn't want help anymore. And even though you ended things with her, that doesn't mean it's your fault she decided to kill herself after. You need to forgive the entire situation, forgive yourself and forgive Liz, and then move on.”
Gramps releases my hands finally, and I stand quickly, pushing away from the table.
“Grow up, Cole, and figure out what you want. Otherwise, you'll always be running in circles, and you won't ever be happy.”
I turn and walk out the door without a backward glance.
* * *
Addi
“He cares about you. And I know you care about him.”
“If he cared, he wouldn't have said the things he did. He wouldn't have let me leave his shop upset.”
“No one knew what was going to happen. He spent that night in the hospital sleeping in the shitty waiting room. He refused to go home. Then he waited around all day until you were moved upstairs just so he could see you.”
“I don't care, Leigh. He shouldn't have been such a dickhead, and then maybe I would've wanted to visit with him.”
Leigh sighs. “Whatever you say, but from what I could see, he cares about you. He fucked up, and I'm sure he knows that, but hear him out.”
“You said that last time and look what happened.”
“You're right, and that time was fucked up. But I don't think the same thing will happen this time.”
“I don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want to sleep.”
Leigh helps me to bed. After being in the hospital for a week, I’m finally home. My parents flew back home as soon as they got all of Leigh’s frantic messages the night of the accident. My father’s working and my mother had some charity event so Leigh’s helping out. You’d think my parents would take some time off, stay home, but it is what it is.
I don't want to think about any of it.
About how sad I am.
Or how mad I am.
Or how I feel completely lost and destroyed.
How I doubt I'll ever be able to take a walk without constantly looking over my shoulder.
I want to shut all of it out.
I pull the covers up and ask Leigh to draw the shades. She insists on staying in case I need anything, though I assure her I'm fine. All that's left is my cast on my arm, along with my sore muscles. Oh, and the one thing I can't ever fix—a broken heart.
So I do the one thing that makes me feel nothing at all.
I go to sleep.