“Long time, no talk, son.” Gramps takes a seat across from me at the dinner table in my kitchen. Meatloaf with mashed potatoes, gravy, and corn are spread out on the table before us. Addi dropped it off earlier from the local diner in town as she knew I had my hands full today.
A part of me wishes she was here eating with us, but I push that thought down and don’t give it any voice. I’m in over my head, further than I wanted to be, and I need to cut the shit.
That other night we spent together was … fuck. I don’t want to call it a mistake because it was one of the best nights of my life. But I took things too far. Way too far.
I’m trying to keep everything easy, but I know Addi senses a difference. She’s intuitive, so it doesn’t take her long to figure others out. And I know she can read me like a book. Nothing feels awkward per se, but I keep my distance, afraid I’ll only lead us both on. To a place neither can go.
We can’t love each other. It just won’t work.
I’m not what she needs, and I don’t need anyone. I need my shop to survive.
“Been busy.” I shovel food in my mouth. Hunger pains grip my stomach as I’d been unable to stop for food today.
“How’s it going with the bank?”
“Good. They’re willing to work with me as long as I show effort. I gave them a payment last month and plan to give another soon. They want more, but for now, this is what I’m working with.”
“Are you still in foreclosure?”
My stomach twists. “Yeah. Unless I can get the loan up to date, it’ll stay in foreclosure status, which means they could potentially auction it off whenever they want.”
Gramps whistles below his breath. “I pray that doesn’t happen.”
“Hopefully, they’d hold off on something like that since I’m making payments.”
“How’s Addi?”
My fork freezes halfway to my mouth at the mention of her name. Gramps chuckles like something’s funny about my reaction.
“Does her name scare you?” Gramps snickers.
“You’re hilarious, Gramps. Why are you asking me about her?”
“You two seem to spend an awful lot of time together.”
Scooping corn into my mouth, I give him a questioning look. “She helps at the shop, so of course we’re together a lot.”
“And outside of work time?”
“What about it?”
“You’re not together?”
“Gramps, damn, what’s with the twenty questions?” I snap and then instantly feel bad when I see Gramps’s face fall. Fuck, Cole.
“I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. It’s stress … I’m stressed to the max.”
Gramps leans over and rests a hand on my arm. “I know you are. And I’m only asking all these questions because you don’t tell me things anymore. I want you to be happy more than anything else, Cole. You’re my pride and joy.”
I feel like such an ass.
“I’m sorry, Gramps. I know. Just a lot of shit going on in my head, and it comes at me so fast I can’t even begin to explain—”
He cuts me off with a squeeze of my arm. “You love her, don’t you?”
I almost choke. “What?”
Gramps squeezes my arm harder this time as if he’s trying to make the answer come out of me. “You love that girl. I can see it all over your face.”