Chapter Two
Addi
My thin brush swipes across the stark white canvas, the turquoise paint capturing the color of the ocean with the perfect mixture of green and blue.
Every day, I nestle into my crook down here and paint my heart away, scene after scene of the beach, the water, the people, and the wildlife.
Sometimes, I paint the long beach grass blowing in the wind. Other times, I paint the little kids playing in the sand, their castles towering high into the sky.
I’ve always loved painting scenery and still life, capturing the beauty at that one moment. In the city, I painted the skyline of buildings, or I’d find a field and paint the starry sky.
The stars and the moon are my favorite. Every night, they’re there, shining into the darkness. They follow you wherever you go, a comfort you can count on. And a wish you can always make.
I opened an Etsy shop in hopes of selling a few paintings, and while I’ve gotten a couple of hits, it’s been nothing major to sustain myself. Things take time to grow, but I don’t have time. I need something now, a way to make money fast so I can get the hell out of my parents’ house.
Maybe I should take a job doing whatever just to get some money in the bank.
Flashes of my life in the city play out in my head. It feels like a waste of four years.
I shouldn’t say that. I earned my degree and learned a hell of a lot. I experienced city life and apartment living.
I even experienced city love.
And city heartbreak.
Coming back here could be a fresh start. Find myself and build a life.
But why do I feel like it’s not? Like there’s a sinking ship in my stomach, ready to hit rock bottom. Like I’m underwater, unable to pull myself up and tread the surface.
Why? What is missing?
Pushing my feelings away, I focus on the task at hand.
Painting my butt off until I get somewhere.
Maybe then, things will change for me.
* * *
“What’s the plan, Addison?” My mother, Lauren, walks beside me along the beach, the afternoon sun setting across the horizon. The cool breeze blowing in from the ocean provides relief from the day’s sun and heat.
My hair blows across my face, tickling my nose. I look away and roll my eyes. Here we go. “I told you, I’m working on it.”
“You’ve been saying that for the past two weeks you’ve been home. Soon, your father will ask for rent. I can only hold him off for so long.”
I blow out a breath. Her bullshit is plain as day to me, and I can see through her lies. My father doesn’t want to charge me rent; he told me so himself. It’s my mother who doesn’t want me there. Why? I have no clue. You’d think she’d want the company since she’s alone all the time. “I’m doing what I can. Art is a slow business at first, and it takes time. Trust me, I want my own place.”
We stop, and I turn to admire the sunset, the pink and orange colors swirling together and reflecting off the water. My sandals sink into the dry sand, and I rock back on my heels. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother gaze down the shore; obviously people watching and most likely judging every single one of them.
“Maybe you should’ve had a plan before you came back. Besides, weren’t you planning on staying in New York? I know if I got out of this place, I wouldn’t ever come back.” She flicks her hair.
I close my eyes and try not to let her words affect me. The older I get, the harsher she becomes. Bitter and sad with her own life, she lashes out at me, her words like swords. A part of me thought of staying away simply for the fact that her drama is over the top, but when you can’t afford your rent anymore and have no one to help, you come back. Yeah, my parents may have money, but they don’t share well. I’ve never wanted for much, but being of age, their support is gone.
“Thanks for the support, Mom. It’s great. Makes me feel so much better.”
“Oh, Addison. You always were so sensitive.”
I clench my jaw, wishing for one second I wasn’t her daughter, so I could snap right back. Somehow, I learned to respect and to ignore. “I’ll be out sooner rather than later. Maybe we can all sit down and have dinner together? Dad’s hardly home.”