I suck in a big breath of salty air and slowly breathe out.
Besides the amazing sex, our connection is the other piece I keep thinking about. Our conversation, our laughter, it was all there. A complete package.
But I just can't risk my heart like that. Been there, done that, and certainly will not do again.
I flip over onto my stomach, undoing my top strings. Might as well tan my back, too. No need for tan lines.
* * *
“Becca! It's so good to hear your voice!”
Her sweet voice comes down the line, and I jump for glee. It's been too long since I talked to her, both of us busy with lives moving in different directions. “I've missed you, Addi! So much! How's the hometown treating ya?”
“It's good to be back. I didn't realize how much I missed this place until I was gone from it for so long. But you! Paris? How long?” I sip my coffee on the back porch, enjoying the early morning quiet before my day begins.
Becca starts in on how she was offered a once-in-a-lifetime internship in Paris, France, to study and work in the Louvre museum.
She had to leave her city, the only place she's ever known, her family, her job, and her boyfriend.
But who could pass that up? A part of me wishes I could've gone, but I'm happy for her.
“I'm leaving in a few weeks, and I'll be gone till Christmas. Seems like a long time, but it'll fly by.”
“Enjoy every second of it. Soak it all up. I bet it will career changing for you.”
“Oh, Addi. Always so sweet, thank you. I don't think I'd be here today if it weren't for you. You’re an amazing friend and artist. How's your art going?”
“I'm painting, so that's what's important. The beach inspires me the same way it did when I was a kid. The problem is making a living.”
Becca clicks her tongue, her telltale sign she's thinking. “It's not easy, my friend. I'm trying to think if I know of any connections out that way, but I haven't done much business on the West Coast. A lot of times, it's all in who you know.”
I blow out a defeated sigh. “Sadly, I don't know anyone. But I haven't put myself out there too much yet. I've set up an Etsy shop, but I mostly spent my time painting. It's what I love.”
“It's hard accepting there's a business side to our art career, but it's there nonetheless. You'll learn and adapt.”
Her words are comforting. Like a wise grandmother, her advice and encouragement are spot-on. “I wish you were here. Our late-night wine parties were awesome, and I miss our breakfast chats and coffee meetups.”
“Same! Maybe we can meet up before I leave for France? My family has a lot of frequent flier miles. I bet I could get out there.”
“Yes! Let's plan it!”
“Okay, I'll let you know some dates after I talk to my parents. Anything else new? How's the love scene?”
Becca knows all about the disaster of a relationship I had with Finn. She was there to pick up the pieces ... twice.
“No love scene. I told you, I'm done with that crap.”
“You're not. Maybe you need more time. But I said it before, and I'll say it again, fuck Finn and the shit he did to you. You deserve a hell of a lot better and are worth a hell of a lot more.”
“Thanks, Becca. I needed to hear that.”
“I know. That's why I said it.”
We both laugh. “Okay, let's plan this visit.”
Becca's right. She usually is. But I'm still better without love. I need to focus on my career. And if I need to use Cole in the meantime to accelerate things, then that's what I'll do.
We're helping each other. Love is a far-fetched thought, and I'm sure Cole feels the same way. He told me he doesn't do relationships.
This could easily work, right?
Nope. Who are you trying to kid?
Myself.