“I know where you sleep. Don’t worry.”
Mads tosses both pillows my way. “You do, huh? So do you think Tyler is still in California?”
“Girl, you give me whiplash with all the topic changes.”
“Just answer.”
“Says the one whose lips are zipped up tight.”
“I can’t help my curiosity. It’s uncontrollable,” Madison says.
“Same. Which means you’ll eventually tell me what I want to know.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“You’re too much,” I say.
“I know. Well?”
“Well, what?”
“You know what! Is Tyler still here?” Mads asks.
I shrug. “No clue. And I’m not asking Drew, so don’t even ask.”
“No, I respect your decision. You should be free to figure yourself out. But if you want to be with him, that’s okay, too. As long as you’re happy.”
Madison fills me with warmth. When I first got here, I hate to admit it, but I was homesick. Not so much because I wanted to go back, but just the familiarity of it all. Being in a new place far from home and by yourself is overwhelming. It took some getting used to. And I also miss Cat. A lot. But Madison is amazing, and we grow closer every day. While she won’t ever replace Cat, it helps to make new friends and not dwell on the sadness of not seeing my other ones back home. “Thanks. I’m so glad I got such a cool roomie.”
“Yeah, you really lucked out. I’m fucking amazing.”
We both laugh just as a knock sounds on the door.
“Come in!” Madison calls, and the door pops open. Everleigh and Lennox stand in the doorway, the two girls from across the hall we have become good friends with.
“Wanna get some dinner with us?” Lennox asks, her pretty red hair framing her freckled face.
Madison is already running toward the door while nodding her head. “Yes, I’m starving!”
I stand and slip on my flip-flops while quickly throwing my hair into a messy bun on top of my head. “Dining hall tonight?”
“I was thinking we could grab something quick to go and then go eat on the beach?” Everleigh says. “Or we can eat in the dining hall and then go to the beach?”
“I’m down to eat out,” Madison says, her face scrunched up. “I’m getting sick of the dining hall.”
We all agree. There’s only so much dining hall food we can take.
A wave of excitement rushes through me as we head out.
But at the same time, I’m hit with a pang of guilt.
Because while I’m doing all of this fun stuff, it’s without Tyler. And such a big part of me wants him here. Experiencing all of this with me.
I stuff it down and force a smile on my face, determined to have a good time with my friends. Even if I have to fake it a bit.
* * *
It’s a gorgeous evening with a cool breeze coming off the ocean. I wrap my arms around my legs and shiver, wishing I’d brought a hoodie. I forgot how chilly the beach can get as the sun goes down.