After several rounds of throwing up, I finally get in the shower and start to feel better, except for my pounding head. After I dress, I search for some painkillers, chug some water to kick the dehydration, and cook some greasy bacon and eggs to get rid of this shit.
But do I feel better inside?
Fuck no.
Do I feel better when I sit at the beach across from Sierra Cove University in hopes of a glimpse of her?
Also fuck no.
Nothing makes me feel better.
And as the days pass, and I watch Chloe from afar, it only seems to hurt worse. She’s blossoming in this town. She’s glowing, she’s happy, and she has a group of friends. She’s more social and popular here than she was in high school, and I love all of that for her.
But the hurt, selfish part of me hates it.
I want to be the source of her happiness.
I want to be why she’s glowing and gorgeous. Happy and content.
My Lo, my Goody, my girl is thriving.
Growing.
And so fucking beautiful.
It fills me with envy.
Because she’s everything I’m not.
And it’s better if I just stay away.
ChapterFour
Chloe
One month later
“I heard there’s going to be five huge bonfires, each one offering different food. Like a s’mores one, a hot dog one, and even a makeshift bar.” Lennox pins her wild red hair back while bouncing on the bed.
Madison and I came over to Everleigh and Lennox’s room to get ready for the big beach party. People were buzzing about it all week, and it seems more and more gossip spread as the days went by.
First, there were only two bonfires, and now, it’s up to five. It was bring your own food, but now they’re making s’mores and hot dogs?
I laugh to myself as I apply some red lip gloss, wondering if the party will live up to all the hype. The girls think so.
“I heard there’ll be live music. And a surf competition.” Everleigh spins in front of the full-length mirror hanging on the back of their door. Her cute flowery sundress with a dark jean jacket is a perfect look for a beach night and similar to my own sundress. Mine is long and black, with buttons down the front and spaghetti straps.
Lennox has on a skirt and tank top while Madison wears jean shorts and a T-shirt. All of us share jewelry, borrowing each other’s bracelets and necklaces, anklets and earrings. It’s fun to share with each other and find new stuff to wear.
“Live music? No way.” Madison shakes her head, and I laugh out loud this time.
“This party gets more and more over the top,” I say.
“For real.” Everleigh agrees with me. “All I’m counting on is a bonfire. One is enough for me.”
“I’m just excited to meet new people. Some fresh meat.” Mads winks.
Lennox squeals. “Yes! There are no cute boys here.”