“I’m more interested to read about our other alters,” Roman said. His nerves were clear in the way he was clenching and unclenching his fists over and over. “But it feels wrong without Hiro. Sometimes I wish we could communicate in our head like others can.”
“It’s got to be disorienting,” I said. “Switching and losing time.”
“It is, it’s been easier lately,” he said with a small smile. “We’ve been more thorough in our journal. We have had a lot more interesting things to write about.” The teasing in his tone had a smile breaking out.
“I’m glad I came here,” I offered. “I might not have thought so that first night. But meeting you, Hiro, and Drake. It’s changed me. And Layne and Crew... I’ve never had real friends.”
“Same for us. After Hiro’s brother died protecting him, I was created. We spent years bouncing around foster homes, then facilities, and none of them are like Dark Haven. This place is awful in some areas and amazing in others.”
“Yet all the patients paid the price for Vane,” I said with a sigh. “I can’t stop imagining the demons feeding on you all. It’s an awful feeling awake, I can’t imagine the nightmares.”
“We’ve had some bad ones, a lot about that night,” he admitted. “But it’s a small price to pay for autonomy.”
“Are you going to read it?” I asked him as I leaned into him. He wrapped an arm around me but didn’t answer for a few beats.
“I think so,” he finally said as he reached for the side table and grabbed his folder. His hands shook as he pulled it open, and I tried not to read over it as he did, waiting for him to say something and offering silent support. “Oh my god.”
“What?” I asked, sitting up so I could properly look at him. “What’s wrong, Roman?” He was in a sort of trance, not listening until I put my hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me.
“I’m not the alter. Hiro is,” he said. Roman’s voice broke and I scooted in closer. “How could we remember that wrong? I was the older brother he lost... no. This means.” My heart broke for him. We had enough to deal with without finding out everything you thought about your past and current life were a lie.
“Hey, hey, you’re both strong now, because of you,” I soothed. But the tears tracking down his cheeks were breaking my heart. He was the strong one, and seeing him break was not easy to watch.
“I failed my little brother, Harlow. I let him die.”
“No,” I argued. “You did not let him die, you tried to protect him. You were a child, Roman. And look at the life you’ve given your Hiro.”
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, leaning his head forward until it rested against mine.
“I don’t deserve you, Harlow.”
“We deserve each other. We’ve been through hell and back again and we’re no longer alone to face the world,” I promised before standing and holding out a hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“We’re safe here,” he protested.
“And there’s a whole second loft, come on,” I urged him. Roman needed to get out of his head and we had time to kill before Drake came back. Future me could figure out what the fuck to do with a dagger. Current me was going to enjoy a moment of peace.
The upper floor was cozy. There was a large fireplace that I wouldn’t trust using, but if we were stuck here, we could try to clear it out. A door was on the far wall but I wasn’t interested in what laid beyond, only that the ward Monty drew there held strong. The important thing was that the loft was secluded from the floor below.
“We can at least sleep up here,” Roman noted as he glanced around. His voice still held a bit of shock, and I wanted to take it away. I just didn’t know how.
“Hey, don’t get lost in there Roman,” I said as I stepped into his space and tapped his temple. “You’re both in charge from time to time and he isn’t going anywhere. I like you Roman, for you. And I like Hiro, for Hiro. You’re two separate people and no matter how he came to be in this world, you’re both amazing.”
“How can you say that?” he asked me incredulously. “I’m a monster.”
“No, you’re a great man, Roman. You’re a protector and look how much you’ve saved Hiro from,” I corrected him. “Now, I haven’t seen your dick yet, but maybe you are hiding a monster.”
He laughed at my lame joke, a little bit of his tension draining. I took that moment to pull him in for a kiss. He was hesitant at first, unsure, but I wasn’t afraid to show him how much I wanted him. And we both could use a bit of stress relief.
“Can I?” I questioned as I let my hands rest on the button of his jeans. His eyes widened but instead of protesting, he nodded.
I dropped to my knees, thankful for the dusty rug in place and undid the button. He helped drop his pants and boxers, and I snorted out a laugh. At first, he looked offended but I quickly explained.
“You do have a monster in here, it’s always the quiet ones,” I teased. It might have been a ridiculous stereotype, but in his case, it was absolutely true. He was long and thick, and I didn’t hesitate to swirl my tongue over the head. To his credit, Roman managed to keep his noises muted, and fuck, the sight of him biting his lip and watching me with hooded eyes was everything. I felt sexy and powerful, and that was all the encouragement I needed to take him into my mouth.
In a move that surprised me, Roman took over. His hands tightened in my hair, and he started to fuck my mouth shamelessly. I gagged on his cock but loved every fucking second of it. I hollowed my cheeks and gave as much as he was taking.
Not wanting him to second-guess, I wrapped my hands around his thighs, holding on tight.