It took me several minutes to recover before I gathered my laundry and went back to my room, glad I wouldn’t have to go back for another solid week.
“Hey,” Crew said as I passed him in the hall. I muttered a response but didn’t bother to look up, still reeling from the confrontation. “Hold up.”
Groaning internally, I stopped but didn’t turn around.
“What?” My words were sharper than I intended, and I expected him to back away. But Crew wasn’t the type. Even when someone snapped at him, he never lost his cool. It was insane to me.
“What’s wrong?” This time he walked around me and took my basket, leading us into my room. Thankfully, he just sat it down by the bed and didn’t try to fold my stuff.
“Just not sleeping,” I muttered. “And Drake was super pleasant in the laundry room.”
He chuckled at that. “I’m shocked about Drake. He’s such a sweetheart.”
That broke the fog I was in and a slightly unhinged laugh escaped.
“Can I ask you something?” I started, finally finding a way to ask about what I’ve been seeing. Thanks to the meds, my hallucinations have been at an all-time low. Except at night.
“Sure,” he said eagerly. Part of me felt guilty that I was using him for answers. He was always eager to be around me, flirting constantly, but I wasn’t interested in more. At least not yet.
“Why does everyone say to not leave their rooms at night?” He tried to hide it, but I noticed a hint of fear in his eyes before he just shrugged. The coverup was quick enough that I questioned if it was there at all.
“Probably so the nurses don’t have to leave the nurses’ station,” he countered. “Sometimes Layne has nightmares.”
“How is she today?” I asked at the mention of the only other girl on our floor. She was getting quieter by the day, and I hadn’t seen her in two.
“She gets like this sometimes,” he said. “Deep depression. They move her to another floor for a few days, then she comes back after a bit. She’ll be fine. She hasn’t dipped low enough to be moved yet.”
“Okay,” I said before grabbing the basket. “Thanks. I’ve got work to do, see you in the common room later.” I didn’t bother to add that it was only because it was mandatory. The one time I tried to skip, I got the lecture of the century from Nurse Drew. She was like an annoying, nagging older sister.
“Sure,” he said. This time he didn’t mask his disappointment as he stood and walked out.
All I could think about as I folded was the long hours I’d spent up at night. I didn’t leave my room again after that night. But I could hear them out there. The nightmares. Creatures. Whatever they were. They prowled the halls more openly now that I’d learned of them. The screams and cries were haunting, and I felt helpless cowering in my room like a fucking coward.
I was positive it was in my head, a taunting nightmare that was my burden to suffer through.
In the morning, everything was always normal. No strangeness from the others, no lingering shadows, nothing. If they’d shown signs of nighttime torture, I’d have questioned it, questioned them. But now it would just make me look crazy.
I’d asked Layne about why we couldn’t leave, and she gave me a generic excuse about rules and nurses. It confirmed my fear. That it was in my head, another twisted hallucination to fuck me up further.
Yet the meds had knocked out my hallucinations... So why were the nights so vivid?
Giving up on the clothes, I left my room, walking to Layne’s door and knocking. When she didn’t answer, I pushed it open.
“Layne?” I called out, but she didn’t bother to look over or move from the cocoon she was wrapped in on the bed. “Can I get you anything?”
She shook her head but didn’t speak. My usually lively floormate even looked different. Dark circles lined her eyes, and her hair was sticking out at crazy angles, like she’d tugged on it relentlessly. Her usually expressive eyes were dull and lifeless. And it did not smell amazing in here.
“She’ll be fine.” Hiro’s voice filtered into the room from behind me, and I glanced one last time at Layne before walking out.
“She’s so different,” I said. I’d never been around someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, but it was hard to keep up with.
“That’s Layne,” he replied with a shrug. “Sometimes she’s manic, other times mean, or just indifferent and numb, or like this. She’ll snap back soon, and they’ll monitor her.” It was meant to reassure me, but it only had my frown deepening. I barely knew these people but already they’d started to mean something to me. Maybe it was the camaraderie built from sharing trauma, or they were the only ones who tried to be nice to me. Well, except for Drake. Either way, I didn’t like seeing her like this and not having a way to help.
“Crew said you weren’t sleeping?” Hiro hedged.
I laughed at that. “How did he spread that around already? I just mentioned it.”
Hiro gave a sheepish smile. “He was pouting in the common room, said you were having a bad day.”