“I know.”
Sean could sense that Lana’s expression betrayed the horror of what might have happened had they not been there. He drew her over to the truck.
“I’ve been ordered to the hospital. I think I pulled a muscle in my shoulder.”
“Get in. I’ll drive,” Lana said.
After an hour in the waiting room, Lana asked, “Do you want some coffee?” She was feeling edgy.
“Sure.”
She got up, but the first thing she noticed was that the nursery was on the fourth floor. Without thinking, she got into the elevator. As she exited, a nurse was coming out of the maternity room.
“Excuse me, Lana Dempsey from the eighty-second. There was a baby who was born on an overpass bridge just about an hour ago.”
“Right. Ryan.”
“Could you point him out?”
The nurse guided her over to the glass and searched the sleeping faces. “There he is. Third from the end.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. Are you the firefighter who saved his mother?”
Lana nodded. “Is she okay?”
“Also, fine.” The nurse touched her shoulder, “Good job.”
Lana smiled softly and nodded again.
After a moment, the nurse left. Lana stared at the baby and felt tears forming again. When she’d started as a probie, she had this abstract notion about saving lives. It wasn’t until her first rescue that the abstract narrowed down to a real, specific person. She looked at Ryan’s little pink face, his little bow of a mouth as tears slipped down her cheeks. He was why she got into firefighting.
Yet, the horrible fear of dropping the mother of this baby and being responsible for their deaths surged through her.
She’d mastered the ladder climbing, the tool skills, hose etiquette, ventilation, and ax wielding. She’d been burned, wet, dirty, and soot-covered, but this emotional strain was something that she didn’t know how to measure or how to train for. Each new experience left her a little rawer inside. This job demanded so much physically. Ah, but emotionally. How could you stow that?
What if she’d dropped the mother? Failed little Ryan. Those consequences were unbearable to think about.
She wiped at her tears and turned away. This rescue added even more scar tissue to an already broken heart.
* * *
Back at the station house, Lana went immediately to the kitchen since it was her turn to cook.
Sean was close on her heels. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“What? Cooking?”
“Staying. Maybe you should take some time.”
“I’m fine. What about you?”
“It’s only a slightly pulled muscle. I’ll take some painkillers and it’ll be fine. I’m just not supposed to hold on to two people dangling over a bridge anytime soon.”
He stood there a moment. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
She rolled her shoulders because she didn’t want to snap at Sean. “I was shaken up. That’s all.”