He started the coffee. It looked like she’d been shopping yesterday. She had more in the fridge than he did. He took out eggs and bacon and put six strips of bacon in a pan. He cracked the eggs and automatically made them sunny side up. They both liked them the same way. He knew that because he’d cooked for her numerous times at the station house.
He thought about how easygoing it had always been with Lana from the moment a woman had invaded the all man station. They’d had some hardcore firefighters who believed that women didn’t belong, but Lana soon won them over with her open personality and her awesome abilities.
When he looked up from putting bread in the toaster, she was standing in the doorway.
“Smells good.”
He froze like an idiot when he saw her. He’d never seen Lana through the eyes of a man who’d just emerged from her bed.
She stood there looking at him, eyes wide and dark, lips moist and slightly parted. She wasn’t doing a damn thing, and still, she managed to exude sexuality. Her hair was in its usual tamed stated, shiny brown and damp from her shower. She wore a temptation red T-shirt, veed at the neckline to expose her creamy throat, and just a hint of cleavage that made Sean’s fingers itch to trace her skin. Faded and snug jeans tapered to low-slung Western cut booties. A tooled leather belt snugged her waist.
She dropped her eyes, looking unsure of herself, vulnerable. The desire to gather her in his arms and protect her hit Sean so hard that it damn near knocked the wind out of him. He turned away and cleared his throat, pushing the lever on the toaster to drop the toast down.
Lana wouldn’t appreciate the fact that he wanted to protect her. But he couldn’t help it.
He realized he hadn’t spoken to her. It was probably the reason she was so nervous. He said, “It’s almost ready.”
“Good. I’m starved.”
She came over and went to the fridge. As she passed, he could smell the scent of raspberries in her freshly washed hair, the delicious fragrance of her warm body. She took margarine out of the fridge and closed the door. Opening the drawer near her hip, she pulled out a knife and bumped it closed with a flick of her hip.
He dropped the spatula on the floor.
Lana stilled, her eyes going to the utensil lying on the floor, and then up to his face.
Sean rubbed the back of his neck and met her eyes, his heart beating hard in his chest.
“The eggs are burning,” Lana said softly.
Swiftly Sean pulled the pan from the flame. Sheepishly he picked up the spatula and put it in the sink.
“You don’t have to stay or make me breakfast. You don’t have to feel guilty, Sean.”
He heard the irritation in her voice and turned to face her. Drawing in a deep breath, he said, “I know that. I just don’t know how to handle…”
“Me?” She shot him a disgruntled look.
“This thing between us.”
“Lust?”
“It’s more than that and you know it. I’m a clear-cut guy. Women usually fall into two categories. Friends or lovers. I don’t mix the two and I find it extremely irritating that I’ve found both in you.”
Lana shrugged and sat down at her little round table. He liked everything about her kitchen, the homey feel, and the soft feminine lace curtains on the window overlooking the beautiful view of her English garden. The choice of sunny yellow on the walls with the rich wood of the floor was a comforting combination. He just felt so much at…well…at home.
That feeling and his emotions for Lana were all twisted up inside him.
“We have chemistry, and we gave in to our needs. Are you saying that you can’t get past that?” she asked quietly.
Sean had that same ugly sensation that their relationship was changing too much for him to keep up with it. He just plain didn’t know how to respond to her.
“No. The sex was great. You’re great. I just don’t want to lose our friendship.” It sounded lame even to his ears, but her eyes softened as he finished.
“We won’t.”
“It’s already changed.” His voice was very quiet, very serious.
“Relationships change, Sean. You either move with them or leave them behind.”