ChapterEight
Audrey leaned against the thick wooden door and pressed a hand to her belly. “He’s coming back for us,” she whispered, as if she were talking to the baby.
She’d never spoken to the baby before, but it made sense that this would be the time she’d start, when his or her—or rather, their—father had just stepped into the dark, cold rain, facing an untold number of commandos while armed only with a pistol and thirteen rounds.
The kiss had sent her brain spinning back to their first kiss on the private balcony of the best suite in the lodge. Since mid-December, she’d been unable to think of that night with the pleasure it merited, but now, this crazy, scary night had restored the good part of that memory, and she’d slipped into the moment, reliving every fluttery feeling and remembering exactly why she’d tumbled into bed with him in the first place.
Xavier Rivera had been a masculine force then and now, and after everything that had happened tonight, she’d suddenly wanted to retreat into the comfort of his body. To be held tight and feel protected.
And then it hit her that he could be playing her again. She didn’t know how or why, but all at once the anger and hurt came rushing back. She was a fool to have kissed him. He’d used her desire as a weapon once. He’d probably do it again.
In December, she’d realized that Jae had known Xavier was at the lodge to scout it as a location for this very training, which had made her wonder if he’d seduced her because Jae had said she’d be the ultimate authority for approval of the training.
But if he’d seduced her hoping she’d rubber-stamp his proposal, wouldn’t he have submitted the proposal with his name on it? But his name had been absent from the EA and proposed action description. If she’d known his involvement, she might have called him and asked for an explanation before she denied the permit.
He’d nearly gotten her fired from the dream job she’d pursued since she was a kid—and he’d known exactly how important it was to her. They’d talked about it when she first joined him and Jae for drinks that night. The only thing he hadn’t known when he complained to her boss was that she was pregnant with his child.
And he still didn’t know that little detail.
What a mess.
She’d been so tempted to tell him before he left, but he needed a clear head as he set off in the rainy night. She pushed off the door and returned to the living room, settling on the couch and wrapping herself in several blankets. There was no danger she’d be falling asleep anytime soon. She was tired, but wired. And terrified.
When she closed her eyes she saw the specter with the knife. She saw Jeb. She saw a disembodied finger.
She kept her eyes wide open. She pulled the musty blankets tight around her, and warmth finally began to seep in beyond the surface. Her lips still held the memory of kissing him.
When she’d been unable to tell Xavier about the baby, she’d made the choice not to tell anyone. Not yet. It didn’t seem right to share the news with someone other than the baby’s father first. Only her OB/GYN, the physician’s assistant, and the ultrasound technician knew. She’d heard the baby’s heartbeat two weeks ago, but hadn’t been able to share her excitement with anyone.
Her parents had divorced when she was fourteen, and her mom had gleefully left the Olympic Peninsula as soon as Audrey turned eighteen. The family had moved to Forks for her father’s work, and her mother said living on the peninsula had felt like punishment for bad decisions.
Her mom now lived in Tacoma and refused to visit Audrey in Port Angeles. Needless to say, they weren’t close. Not telling her mother about the baby hadn’t been a hardship.
Her father was a different story. He’d left Forks as well, but for a different reason. His arthritis couldn’t take the heavy coastal rain anymore. He’d retired to Arizona eight years ago. They exchanged regular emails, but distance had eroded their relationship. He would be excited to learn he was going to be a grandpa at long last, but he wouldn’t have a big role in the baby’s life.
What if she died out here without ever having told anyone about the baby? What if Xavier survived and learned the truth only then? He would realize from the timing, from her medical records, that not only had she known, but that the child was his.
She got up from the couch and went to the drawer where she’d seen pens and other supplies. She found a blank notepad in the drawer and returned to the couch. She’d write Xavier a note in case something happened to her before she could tell him. He needed to hear it from her, one way or another.
The wind was far worse than the rain, and the rain was a damn nightmare. Xavier tucked down in the thick shrubs, not to escape the wind, but to listen. The howl of the storm cut through his clothes and covered other sounds. A moment ago, he’d heard a grunt—the sound of someone who’d tripped and couldn’t suppress making a noise.
One thing SEAL training had taught him over the years was patience. He could outwait any non-SEAL in these woods. Minutes passed. He waited and listened. A tango had made a noise. It was only a matter of time before they gave themselves away again.
It had been thirty-six minutes since he left Audrey in the cabin. In that time, he’d covered a scant quarter mile. The price of stealth without night vision goggles was a slow pace. He wouldn’t let fear for Audrey’s safety rush his actions.
Damn. Dr. Audrey Kendrick. Thirty-six minutes later, in the middle of a raging storm, while listening for what he assumed was a mercenary in the woods, and he could still taste her on his lips.
He hadn’t planned or intended to seduce her the night they met. He’d found her simply irresistible.
Wicked smart. An outdoor enthusiast. Fascinating. So very enticing. But they were so different. He’d graduated high school and joined the Navy a week later. He’d passed BUD/S at the age of twenty-one and developed the ego of an elite special operator, but that same ego faltered when it came to higher education.
Even when he’d been at the top of his game, he would have figured a woman with a PhD was out of his league. And when they’d met, he was far from the top of his game. That had been made clear when his girlfriend of two years had dumped him while he was in the hospital. She hadn’t even waited until he was awake. She’d shown up after he finally was flown back from Germany, where he’d had his first surgery. She’d taken one look at his sleeping, bandaged self and turned around and left.
Apparently, the only thing he’d had going for him was his active-duty SEAL status. Without that, there was no point in sticking around. Not when continuing the relationship meant taking care of him after each round of surgery.
He’d met Audrey in a situation where he couldn’t use his status as a SEAL to impress her. He’d just…been himself. Well, except for the part where he couldn’t talk about himself, because any word out of his mouth, about his life, would tip her off that he was military, so he’d kept the focus on her and liked everything he learned. Given his evasions to her questions, there’d been no way she would have responded to him if Jae hadn’t been there to vouch for him.
But Jae had been there, and she’d responded. She’d wanted him even when he had no special forces or even military credentials. She’d wanted the low-calorie, no frosting version of Xavier, and it had been a heady feeling, this idea that he didn’t need to be an active-duty SEAL to appeal to a woman who had a PhD from Cal.