ChapterForty-Two
It was one thing to believe Audrey wanted him in her life as a lover and partner, and quite another to actually hear her say the words. The warmth in his chest expanded until he thought he might explode. He pulled her head down for another deep kiss. When he released her, he whispered, “I’m going to do everything in my power to make you as happy as being with you makes me.”
She stroked his cheek. “You already do.”
He rolled to his right side, moving her with him so they remained chest to chest. “Not even close.” He kissed her neck, taking a deep breath and breathing in her scent.
It was probably wrong to feel this much joy right now, but he’d promised Chris—and himself—he would savor this break with Audrey.
Chris had told him about Pam’s affair and their pending divorce. He’d admitted that deep down, he knew part of the reason she’d found a lover and wanted out was because he’d cut himself off after the way things went down in Belarus. It didn’t excuse her actions, but it was there, a crack in the foundation.
He told Xavier not to make the same mistake, reminding him he had a right to live and love and find happiness, even now. Especially now.
Chris, more than anyone, understood and felt the same guilt that hounded Xavier. Three dead in Belarus including the hostage. Three dead at Lake Olympus.
Of course, Chris hadn’t been part of the planning, and his teammates had died before any of the SEALs even knew the forest was filled with mercenaries, but Xavier knew the guilt clung to him just the same.
Especially because the targeting of the exercise was connected to Belarus. Revenge for the death of the hostage, paid for by the girl’s oligarch father.
But right now, he had Audrey in his arms, and she’d just told him she loved him. He’d enjoy this feeling and keep his heart open when he was with Audrey.
“How long can you stay?” she asked.
“Two days. Then I need to go to Coronado. Among other things, there’s going to be a service for the three fallen SEALs. You’re invited, but it’s the same day as Jeb’s service.”
“Oh, damn. That’s a tough one. But I need to be here for Jeb. George is going to give the eulogy.” She stroked his cheek again. “I’m sorry. I wish I could be there for you.”
“I understand. Your community here needs you, and mine will need me there. It’s the right choice for both of us.”
She nodded.
“There’s a lot to sort through, but while I’m there, I’m going to start the retirement process. Given the circumstances, my departure from the Navy is likely to be expedited. It’s possible I’ll be able to move up here before the end of March.”
“You’re really doing this. No hesitation.”
“I’m really doing this.” He threaded his fingers through hers and brought her hand to his lips. “No hesitation.”
She smiled. “I feel like I should tell you, moving to Port Angeles was the deal breaker for my ex. He broke up with me when I landed the ONP archaeologist position, because he knew I would never move south, and he didn’t want to move north. So…I get how big this is for you, to leave the Navy and move to a remote part of Washington.”
“Well, it’s only fair I should mention…the deal breaker for my ex was standing by me when I was in the hospital. I don’t know what bothered her more, taking care of me as I recovered from surgery, or knowing I was going to be dealing with PTSD. Yet I don’t see you running scared, and that means more than I can say.”
She kissed him. “I think I would leave the Olympic Peninsula for you, Xavier Rivera.”
His heart jolted. “Wow. You must really love me.”
She brushed her lips over his. “I really, really do.”
The weekend passed far too quickly, but they both made sure not to waste a precious moment. Monday morning, a car arrived, sent by the Navy to deliver Xavier to the base for a transport to Coronado.
He kissed Audrey goodbye, absorbing this moment to give him something to hold on to while he was away and burying sailors who’d met an unfathomable end during what should have been a safe exercise.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips.
“I love you too.”
With one more deep kiss, he left her and climbed inside the vehicle. Hours later, he was landing on the base that had been the closest thing he had to home for nearly eighteen years.
He was pulled straight into another debriefing, finding Chris, who’d flown back two days ago, already in the room.