I hated my father.
Both of those things could be true at the same time.
Elden was nothing like him. I didn’t need to hold my breath every time things got better between us, every time he proved how different he was. I was afraid of getting too comfortable, too busy bracing for the blow that would tear it all apart. I had imposter syndrome in my own relationship. I didn’t feel like I deserved it because I loved my father. How could I deserve happiness when I couldn’t entirely hate the person who withheld it from my mother for so long?
“When you said you needed some space, I didn’t think you meant hundreds of miles,” Elden said dryly.
I let out a little cry of surprise. Having been so deep in my thoughts, I not only hadn’t heard his boots on the floor, but I had not seen him enter the room.
“You’re here,” I breathed in relief.
I hadn’t been running from Elden. Not even a little. I’d been trying to find a way to move forward with him.
Elden sat on the floor, dragging me to straddle him. I let him do it because I needed him. His touch. His presence. His scent.
“I’ve been here, the whole time,” he murmured, pressing his lips against mine. “Told you, I’m always gonna keep up.”
“How did you know I was here?” Though I was hungry for more of him, there were questions that needed to be asked. “And how did you get here so fast?”
I’d driven straight to the airport and was able to get on a flight leaving within the hour. Then I’d rented a car at the airport and driven straight here.
I realized, only just now, in Elden’s lap, that I was fucking exhausted. I had been running on adrenaline and was now safe to crash.
Not quite yet, though.
“Swiss called me,” Elden said, stroking my hair.
That perked me up. “Swisscalled you?”
He nodded. “Was worried about you, wanted to make sure you got home okay.” His eyes hardened ever so slightly. “Obviously, I didn’t realize this was the home you were going to without tellin’ me. Luckily, I do track your phone, and I drive faster than you.” He grasped my chin. “We’re gonna be talking about you not knowing I was tailing you the entire way to the airport and all the way here,” he grumbled.
I gaped at him. “You were on the same plane as me?”
He nodded.
“How in the fuck did I not notice?”
Elden’s mouth ticked up. “Don’t know, baby. Probably because you were deep in your own head. Which is why I’m not fuckin’ furious with you.” He kissed me again. “Don’t ever take off like that again.”
“I won’t,” I promised without hesitation, filled with shame for taking off on him when he was being perfect. And right after he’d been vulnerable with me about his parents. I was such an asshole.
My chin trembled, tears escaping the corners of my eyes.
Elden wiped them away immediately.
“I’m s-sorry,” I stuttered. “I-I needed to do this.”
“I know,” he murmured.
“But I-I d-didn’t consider your feelings,” I sobbed. “I was being selfish and bratty and just mean, and I’m fucked-up. I mean, I know you knew that from the start, but maybe I’m even more fucked-up than I thought. And it’s too late for you to back out because you already put a baby in me.” I was spiraling now.
Elden’s hands fastened around my neck. “Violet,” he said firmly, his voice the anchor I needed to find my way back.
“The one and only time I even thought about backing out was when you asked me to kiss you on the rooftop,” he said, eyes blazing.
“But we weren’t even us then.”
His lips landed on mine. “Weren’t we?”