Thinking the words and saying them aloud had a different impact, didn’t it? Fuck, I was so much worse than I allowed myself to realize. All these worries and endless thoughts in my head were taking their toll. I was desperately sad and miserable. And I didn’t care that I was putting my fragile self on full display before Sam. He was here. He allowed me to speak my pent-up emotions. He listened to everything I said but he said nothing. He knew I didn’t need to hear anything.
Sam’s cold hand covered my own that was settled at just above his knee. If it weren’t for his warm touch, I wouldn’t have realized that I was holding on to him to stop my stool from swivelling me away from facing him. Or that my thigh was snug a little too cosily to his.
His other hand reached out to my face with an outstretched index finger to brush away the one teardrop on my cheek. Damned stubborn tear. It escaped. I didn’t want it to.
“You deserve happiness.” His voice sounded like an angel’s whisper.
Sam brushed a strand of my hair, tucked it behind my ear as he slid our joined hands further up his thigh. And all of a sudden, the warmth in his expression changed. Became bolder. His eyes turned to a darker shade. Dark enough to send a jolt of panic in me. My heart began racing so rapidly that it could explode out of my ribcage.
I quickly reeled my hand away from him. “Excuse me. I… I need to…” I pushed back my stool, got up on my feet and beelined to the back of the diner as fast as I could on my shoes.
By the time I made it into the ladies’ room, I was hyperventilating. I was shaking. Looking in the mirror, I saw my cheeks wet from the streaks of tears.
What just happened? At one point, I was talking, letting go of my emotions and finally feeling good at the release, but now? My feelings were more of a wackier mess than they’ve been before.
What the hell had Sam done to me? He barely said anything. He just looked at me. Simply touched my hand. Yet it was like he did so much more.
How could he penetrate my brain and underneath my skin like this with just one look and one touch?
He eyed me like a predator eyed his prey. And if I hadn’t scurried away when I did, I would have sacrificed myself to him. I would have allowed him to catch me and feast on me. Even worse than that, I wanted him to.
I turned the tap water on cold, ran my trembling hands underneath the running liquid and tapped my wet palms on my neck. My desperate attempt to shake myself back to reality.
I should have ran. I should have escaped that man, escaped the neon lights of this place and got lost in the dark town centre amongst strangers. Strangers wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t go from consoling me to leaning in for a kiss. Or did I imagining that?
Shutting off the water, I decided I would grab my bag and excuse myself. I would lie that I was feeling sick, say symptoms of the flu. No, symptoms of the monthly red monster – best scenario to dodge persisting questions from any man.
The reflection of the woman staring back at me in the mirror was now calmer. The tears have stopped and the waterproof make-up managed to mask the evidence.
I took one last long, deep breath and walked away from confronting my reflection.
But my exit was cut short when I bumped into a hard wall. A firm man’s chest.
It washim. My own personal predator.
Sam peeked over my shoulder to inspect for a clear coast, then ushered me back inside the room before shutting the door and turning the lock.
“What are you doing?” I managed to spell out as I took a step backwards. And then another when I saw his rigged jaw muscles.
“I must ask you something.” His tone was rough. The roar of a lion.
With a single stride forward, Sam reached me. Braced my shoulders with his both hands and guided me backwards till my back hit the cold wall. His towering height invaded my personal space. Blocking my senses from allowing me to move an inch.
His hands glided off my shoulders down my arms, slow and tantalizing, leaving behind a tingling trail of goosebumps.
Then his face leaned down to me. His lips touched my damp neck, tickling and arousing my skin there and lower. My eyes shut taut without my permission. A shiver crawled up my spine.
“How does this feel?” He whispered between a soft kiss and the next.
My only answer was a soft moan.
Sam inched back, just enough to look straight at me. His face was entirely shadowed with lust, the same kind that I was sure reflected on my face too. The desire that this man instilled in me was too high. The kind that only he could tame.
His fingers tugged the end of the large bow securing the top half of my blouse and slipped a hand beneath the silk. His palm splayed above the skin of my left breast. With his other free hand, he took my hand and guided it to rest on his chest.
“Do you feel alive now?”
I could feel his rapid rise and fall beneath my touch. He felt mine. Our hearts were beating fast in perfect unison.