Each moment was a revelation of love and care.
She could not believe that a man of so much import was rolling around on the floor with his three small children, all of whom had wild hair, pink cheeks, and clothes covered with jam. “I cannot believe that you allow them to be so—”
“Free?” the duchess asked, tilting her head to the side, causing the light to glint in her fiery locks.
She nodded, swallowing. She’d been terrified since she was three years old of getting jam on her clothes.
“This world has enough hardship,” the duchess said firmly. “I want my children to explore it and to not be afraid to make mistakes. It is in the mistakes that the wonderful things happen… that is how we learn.”
She eyed her new friend. “Thank you,” she said simply, “for teaching me this.”
“I? Teaching you?” the duchess prompted, surprised.
“Oh, yes.” Elizabeth smiled, her heart full of longing. “I have never been allowed to make mistakes, you see.”
“Well, you better start making them now,” the duchess said with all seriousness.
“I don’t want to make a mistake,” she protested as panic began to well up in her. “What if I choose the wrong thing? What if I—”
The duchess took her hand firmly, bringing her back from her spinning thoughts. “What if can be a wonderful thing, my dear friend. What if you do choose the right thing? What if you choose the most marvelous life? What if it all works out? You love Tom very much, don’t you?”
“I think so, yes.” Elizabeth whispered. “And you love the duke.”
“Oh, yes,” the duchess said. “I have never known so much love or a heart full of hope.”
“I don’t know if I can have that,” Elizabeth admitted honestly, holding onto the duchess’ hand as if she was about to be swept out to sea.
“Why not?” The duchess asked boldly.
“I do not know how to love,” she explained, dread pooling in her as they sat by the fire.
She studied the duke and his children, watching as someone who longed for something feared it would be forever, torturously out of reach.
“Oh, my dear friend,” the duchess began kindly, “none of us know how to love. Well, we do when we’re small children. We’re born with a great capacity for it, but it is often beaten out of us. It certainly was for me and the duke.”
The duchess’ face softened. “His life was fraught with horrors, you know, but we learned how to love. We teach each other. You will learn, and in the learning? That is where the most marvelous things will happen between you and Tom.”
“Tom,” she breathed out, her heart fluttering. “I am so lucky to have found him.”
“Yes, you are,” the duchess agreed without hesitation. “Now, do not let him go. I can see it, in the way you are sitting now, the rigidity… you’re convincing yourself that you don’t deserve to have him, that you don’t know how to love him, that you cannot.” The duchess leaned forward, her face full of passion and determination, “But Elizabeth, those are all lies told to you by your father. Do not let him control you still.”
Control her still.
Those words echoed through her.
The duchess was right. The words that were dancing through her brain? All the fears… those were things her father had taught her. She sat up straighter. She watched the children touch their father’s face with small hands, then press into him, hugging.
She took in the duke hugging them back as if each embrace filled him with life.
Elizabeth realized she did not have to let her father’s rules condemn her to a life of coldness.
No, there was love waiting for her if she but let it.
Chapter 21
Tom savored the feel of Elizabeth’s hand in his as they wandered over the Highland hills of their new estate. It was breathtaking in its beauty.
A soul could grow here, he thought.