She does not get to cause any emotion but pure hatred in me.
CHAPTERFIVE
DENIELLE
What just happened?
The hammering in my chest makes it hard to draw in air. I lean my back against the door. My legs tremble, and I sink to the ground. Placing my forehead on my knees, I exhale a shaky breath. Water from my still-wet dress seeps over the floor, making contact with my feet and exposed ass. The towel barely covers my boobs and thong at the same time, hence my bare behind being planted on the hardwood floor.
Not being able to shake Lilly's confession, I wandered through the mansion until I ended up on the lower level. Water has been mycalmfor as long as I remember. Submerging myself under the surface, peering up at the muted world above… It severs me from reality.
So, when my best friend informed me that she knew the truth—the secret I had carefully maintained for years—I was catapulted back to being five years old. I don't have many memories from that year, except hiding underwater until my lungs burned and black spots appeared in my vision. That remains clear as day. How it started. The whole messed-up chain of events that led to the encounter a few minutes ago.
I replay the scene in my head. I had no idea anyone else was still—or already—up. At the same time, I'm not surprised thathewas the one I ran into. Marcus was absent during the day, so he had to leave his room at some point. It made sense it was at night.
Goose bumps run in waves down my arms and legs, and I shiver. The water on my skin has dried, yet my hair is anything but. Wearing drenched underwear doesn't help either—drenched in so many ways.
Jesus.
I could still sense the heat radiating off Marcus's tall frame. His very broad, muscular frame. Something new overshadowed his usual hatred, something I couldn't decipher. His proximity caused a tingling sensation in my core that made me clench my thighs. He had a full bottle of booze in his hand, but when he breached the distance, and his breath mingled with mine… I could taste his earlier beers on my tongue. I hate beer. On him, though…
A feverish flush spreads through me anew, and the chill turns into a whole new trembling. I shake my head at myself. I'm being ridiculous. This is Marcus Baxter.
His slanted head, how he regarded me with a crease between his brows, appears in front of my mind's eye. He seemed almost…confused? Irritated by something. Someone. Me? What was he thinking? Was it because I didn't tuck tail?
My fingers fidget with the hem of the towel.
Why didn't I run? That's a mystery to me.
I take emotional stock. My lungs hurt from… I almost didn't come up in time. The burn felt too good. It pushed all the other feelings aside, exhausted me physically.
Craving my pillows, I didn't pay attention to my surroundings, which was how he managed to surprise me. Ever since moving in with Lilly, I have been on constant alert. But pushing the limits—my limits—my mental battery was drained. Then, he acted very atypically to his usual loathing. Throw it all together, and I stood up to the man for the first time in six years. And I liked it. I reveled in the satisfaction that he was not happy about it. That I caused him…whatever that was—even if it was increased dislike. I felt in charge. It was all an illusion. I understood that. But the brief shift in power was exhilarating.
My thoughts drift to Lilly. She dug up my skeleton—the one my father has buried so deep in our walk-in closet behind a thick concrete wall that no one outside our family knows about it. Except for her now. I curl my toes, the urge to go back to the pool and dive in speeding up my pulse. Not tonight, though. I need sleep and to form a plan for how to approach my best friend—alone.
The sun ishigh in the sky when I finally emerge.
Going to bed after four in the morning has resulted in sleeping long past lunchtime. When I attempt to peel back my eyelids, they feel like I have an entire beach under them. Eyedrops? Coffee!Eyedrops… I can't decide what I need first. A caffeine IV drip while using my eyedrops. Yes! That would be ideal.
But since that isn't going to happen, lubricating my eyes comes first. On my hunt for my liquid energy, silently praying I don't run into Marcus or my best friend (I'm not ready to confront her), I take two steps at a time down the back stairs. It's a shortcut that leads from the hallway where the guest rooms are located directly into the kitchen. I'm about to hit the bottom one when King appears in the opening.
"You're awake!" She beams at me, carrying a travel mug.
A high-pitched squeal escapes me as I scramble backward, almost falling on my ass. My palm flies to my chest, attempting to reassure the hammering inside that everything is okay.
Good Lord.
Righting myself and dusting off invisible lint, I smirk. "I'm up. I'm still working on the awake part." I cough the last word, and the sting in my lungs makes me wince. I overdid it last night. I wasn't smart. Giving in to the urge to cut ties with the outside world was something I hadn't done in years. There hadn't been a need to. My episodes slowed when I hit puberty. Lilly and I met, and I stopped using my parents' pool as escapism. Toward the end, I was able to hold my breath for almost two minutes. But that was when I submerged myself every other day. This time, I counted to ninety-eight before my body revolted, forcing me up.
King cocks her head. "You okay, D?"
I blink. "Where is everyone?"
She taps her forefinger to her lips, peering to the ceiling. "Umm… Elle and Hazel are outside by the pool. Lilly, Rhys, Wes, and Marcus took the kids on a hike. I haven't seen Heather or Tristen. And the rest of the boys are downstairs, doing some workout drills."
"Marcus is awake?" The question is out before I can stop myself.Well, crap.
King's eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"