My alarm goesoff at six-thirty. I stay in bed, digging the heels of my palms into my eyes and letting out a low growl. We’re hosting today’s invitational. We’ve been practicing more than usual all week, and my body feels like I’ve been run over by a car which then backed up and repeated the motion about twenty-three times. I’m pretty sure my face is blotchy, and no amount of concealer will erase the hours of tossing and turning.
After my run-in with Rhys last night, I sat on the floor for an hour until the constant flow of moisture dried up. I’m so tired of Rhys’s presence messing with me. I have enough to deal with, trying to figure out who Lilly McGuire—or rather, Lilly Sumner—is. I don’t need my body to have weird physical reactions that make no logical sense.
Something needs to change.
It’smy turn to drive, and I pull into Denielle’s driveway at seven-fifteen. I haven’t bothered with a shower since my hair goes up in a tight bun anyway and I’m just going to smell like before within the hour. I spend all of the time on my makeup, and thanks to the new foundation Denielle made me get months ago, I am semi-presentable.
We’re stretching on the far end of the gym when Denielle mutters, "What the fuck is she doing here?"
I slowly follow her gaze and freeze in my straddle. Katherine Rosenfield, head cheerleader and self-proclaimed gymnastics-is-for-girls-who-didn’t-get-on-the-cheer-team hater is here. All my senses go into overdrive.
"WHAT. THE. FUCK!" I clamp a hand over my mouth. I rarely use the f-bomb.
Denielle snickers beside me, and I throw her a glare that hopefully conveys,Whose side are you on?
I scan the gym, and sure enough, there he is. A knot forms in my stomach. Rhys is standing by the doors, talking to Camden Sewall, another senior, who’s probably here to support his girlfriend, Grace.
This can’t be real.
My eyes swing back to Katherine. She is talking to a girl I don’t know, wildly gesturing with her arms like Miss Howard, our crossing guard in middle school. Katherine’s uber-cheery demeanor doesn’t meet her eyes. It’s obvious she’s enjoying being here as much as I enjoyed my first gynecological exam.
I’m still in my stretch, and my upper body drops forward, resting my forehead on my arms. The pounding in my ears makes it hard to concentrate.
I lift my head and peer at my best friend. "Unbelievable!"
Den gazes at me sideways, lips pinched together, but she doesn’t comment.
For the next few hours, I avoid Rhys’s general direction. I don’t have to see him, my body is automatically aware of where in the room he is. There is a constant buzz in my veins with the occasional flutter in the stomach region. I go through the motions, but my performance is a joke. I can’t clear my mind. I fumble during my back handspring, which almost lands me on my ass. As the morning progresses, the low buzz is replaced by a roaring in my ears.
I need to call Spence when this is over to schedule a training session ASAP.
Our team, overall, makes second place, which is at least something, but I can’t take any credit for that. We pack up, and Denielle and I walk toward the locker room when Rhys steps in my way. I try to walk around him, but he follows my movement and blocks me. The tunnel vision returns. Howdarehe show up here? With her! I’m exhausted and frustrated with my performance. My entire body tenses. I’m itching for a fight.
Den puts a hand on my forearm, and I force my eyes to meet Rhys’s.
"Hi." He sounds hesitant.
We stare at each other. I’m unable to form a coherent thought.
He opens his mouth to say something, but something inside of me snaps, and I sneer, "Why are you here? Withherof all people!"
"Because you won’t talk to me at home."
Is he for real?
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I stomp my foot like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, knowing how ridiculous I must look, but I can’t help it. "ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME?"
Eyes swivel toward us. I’m making a scene. I take a deep breath to regain some restraint and seethe, "You have not talked to me since we got home. You went back to your normal life with your perfect, fake relationship while I sit at home.Alone.My life is a big fucking farce. I live with people who have lied to me for ten years. TEN YEARS, Rhys. And you go back to banging your cheerleader whore who cheats on you at every opportunity and who you don’t evenlike. And then you have the audacity to rub it in my face. Do you have any idea what that does to me?" My chest is heaving, and I can’t stop the moisture from building in my eyes. My hand clamps over my mouth for the second time today.
Where did that come from?
Denielle is frozen with her hand still on my arm, and Rhys gapes at me with an open mouth.
Mortified, I glance around. People are still watching, but I’m pretty sure no one heard my rant. At least I had the foresight to lower my voice. However, that doesn’t change the embarrassment factor.
Almost lightheaded, I shrug Denielle off and dart around both of them to the locker room.
Oh God, oh God, oh God.