Chapter20
After returning home, Ashford’s frustration at leaving Mary before he’d found his own release had him taking himself in hand to ease the ache.It wasn’t the same as being with her, but it helped to give him clarity.
He’d meant it when he told her he wanted to court her in earnest.But before he could move on with his future, he needed to set aside past hurts.He needed to see his brother.
He sent a note to Henry at first light and then waited, pacing in his room.His mother would assume he was still asleep after being out for most of the night and so wouldn’t expect him to come down for breakfast, which suited him just fine.He couldn’t help but wonder how much his mother knew about Henry’s life.She must have at least suspected the reason he’d disappeared given her veiled comments about how her younger son wouldn’t be producing the next heir.Which left the question about why she hadn’t told him.Ashford could only hope it wasn’t because she thought he might do something to hurt his brother.
But hadn’t he done just that when he’d allowed their father to drive a wedge between them?Shame filled him that he’d waited so long to seek Henry out.That feeling only grew when a message from his brother arrived, saying he would expect him later that morning.
It was still early, but he couldn’t go back to sleep.Which meant he had nothing to do but pace and wait.
After an interminable few hours,he finally set out for his brother’s house.He didn’t know London well enough to recognize the address, and he feared that his brother was living in an unsafe part of town.That fear was put to rest when the carriage slowed in front of a modest house in a genteel neighborhood.
He lifted the knocker, and the door was opened moments later by the man he’d met the previous evening.The man wore house livery, which told him he was either Henry’s butler or he had taken on that role to keep the neighbors from suspecting the truth about their relationship.It wouldn’t be safe for either man if rumors spread that they were lovers, and they would face the very real threat of being jailed.
Ashford extended a hand, opting for a casual introduction.“I think we started out on the wrong foot yesterday.I am Anthony Ashford.”
“William Benson,” the man said, but instead of taking Ashford’s hand, he folded his arms across his chest.A vee formed between his brows, the corners of his mouth turning down.“I’ll be watching you.”
Ashford nodded and dropped his hand.
“Are you playing nice, William?”
Benson’s jaw clenched as the voice came from the back of the house.He stepped aside to allow him to pass.But before Ashford did, he put an arm on Benson’s shoulder.“Thank you for watching out for my brother.I am here to mend fences, not cause him any more pain.”
Benson nodded, his body relaxing slightly.
Ashford started down the hall, but before he’d made it more than a few steps, his brother stepped out from the shadows.
It had been well over a decade since he’d last seen Henry, and it was a shock to see he was now a grown man.His fair hair had darkened in that time and was now a light brown color, only slightly lighter than Ashford’s.Father would have been annoyed.He’d always liked that Henry had inherited his blond hair.
Henry had broadened as well, though not as much as Ashford, which was only to be expected since he hadn’t spent the past decade exerting himself physically.But aside from that, it was as though Ashford were looking into a mirror.It was no wonder Benson had mistaken him for his brother.
Henry spoke first.“I think this meeting requires a drink.”
It was just before noon, but Ashford heartily concurred.
He followed his brother to a room at the back of the house, which turned out to be both a library and a music room.Henry had always enjoyed playing the pianoforte, and Ashford wasn’t surprised to see that instrument standing proudly in the center of the room.
He waited as Henry poured two small measures of brandy and handed him a glass.His brother eyed him with caution as he said, “To what should we drink?”
Ashford raised his glass.“To reconciliations.”
Henry nodded and tossed back his drink.
He raised a brow before doing the same.His brother dropped into a chair and he took the one opposite.“You look well.”
“As do you,” Henry said.
One corner of his mouth lifted.“Father wouldn’t have been pleased.”
Henry shook his head.“I never understood why he drove you away.If I did or said anything that caused him to favor me…” He shook his head.“I hated the way he divided us.I only ever looked up to you.”
Ashford leaned forward.“I am here to apologize.Looking back, I can see now that you never showed any sign of wanting to take my place as heir.Yet I allowed him to twist everything.To make me believe it would be better for everyone if you were viscount.”
“He hated that you looked so much like our mother.Whereas I…” He waved a hand at his hair.“Well, I was fair and to him that meant I was clearly his son.”
Ashford shook his head.“I never realized just how much we looked alike.”