She meant it. He’d given her pleasure she never could have imagined, but it felt hollow because she hadn’t done the same for him. She wanted… No, she needed him to be right there with her.
He rose from the bed in one fluid movement, and she watched again as he finished undressing. His manhood stood straight out from his body, and she had the jarring thought that it was significantly larger than the finger he’d used to penetrate her. But she trusted that he wouldn’t hurt her.
He lowered himself next to her on the bed, and this time it was her turn to explore. Every muscle in his body was tense, and she knew it cost him dearly to lie still while she ran her hands over him. She hesitated when she reached his arousal, wondering if it was unseemly for her to want to touch him there. He took the decision from her by moving her hand to him and urging her to curl her fingers around his erection.
She was surprised to find that he was both hard and soft at the same time. When she looked up, his heavy-lidded gaze was fixed on the sight of her hand on him. Some instinct had her caressing him, running her hand up and down his length. His jaw clenched, and he met her gaze.
She could see the question in his eyes. “I’m ready.”
He was over her again, settling between her open legs. His mouth devoured hers, communicating his need. He shifted his hips so that his arousal rested against her entrance. She gave a hum of approval, enjoying the sensation.
She’d been wrong to think he wouldn’t hurt her, because the thrust of his hips had him entering her in one swift movement that was followed by pain.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, his lips moving against hers as he spoke the words. “It won’t hurt next time.”
He held himself still inside her, giving her body time to adjust to the intrusion, continuing to kiss her until she almost forgot the pain. His hands covered her breasts, and then he moved one to rub at the spot just above where they were joined together. The spot where he’d caused her so much pleasure with his mouth and tongue. He drew little circles with his thumb, and her body responded eagerly to the stimulation.
She was still a little tender when he drew back and entered her again, but the sharp pain was now a dull memory. After several more thrusts on his part, she found herself shifting to meet him.
He murmured words of encouragement, his hand moving to grasp one leg behind the knee and bringing it over his hip. She didn’t need his guidance to do the same with her other leg before wrapping them around his waist, meeting his steady thrusts with her own.
Had she thought this painful? This was the most amazing feeling in the world.
She recognized the sensations coursing through her body now and knew she was about to reach that point of pleasure. John tore his mouth from hers and their eyes locked. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but instead she showed him with her body.
Her breathing grew ragged, and she noticed that his sharp breaths matched hers. The wave crested then, and she called out his name while he continued to move in and out of her. Just when she thought she wouldn’t be able to stand another moment, he pulled out of her and she felt a splash of hot liquid on her hip.
With a soft curse, he stood and walked over to the washbasin. He returned with two wet washcloths and used one of them to wipe up the mess he’d made. She’d learned enough to know what had just happened. He’d finished outside her body to prevent pregnancy.
When he hesitated, she rose onto her elbows. “Is something the matter?”
“There’s blood. I can clean it for you if you’d like?”
Oh Lord, of course. She’d forgotten she would bleed the first time. Not all women did, or so she’d been told. But given the sharp stab of pain she’d felt when he first entered her, she wasn’t surprised.
She rose to a sitting position and held out her hand in reply. When he handed her the second washcloth, she stood and moved behind the screen set up in one corner of her bedroom. There were some things one had to do for oneself, after all.
When she returned, he was sprawled on her bed. He’d drawn the covers up, and she slipped under them as well, snuggling against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
They stayed like that for several minutes, with him running a hand across her hip in small circles. She was on the verge of falling asleep when he spoke.
“Would you care to explain what you were doing working as a barmaid… Molly?”
Shock acted like a cold bucket of water poured over her. She’d known it was possible he’d recognize her once she did away with her lace caps and spectacles, but she’d hoped he’d forgotten about that encounter. It seemed she’d underestimated the man with whom she’d just made love.
Chapter 24
“Are you angry?”
Her question, when it came after a long silence, was barely above a whisper. John looked down at her, but she didn’t meet his gaze.
“No, of course not. But I am curious why you thought to hide this from me. Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you?”
“You didn’t for the longest time. And it was dark that evening.”
“I thought I was imagining things when we met and you reminded me of Molly.”
She winced. “When did you realize it was me?”