I rest my head against the cabinet beneath the sink and bite my lip. He’s right. It’s been done for a while now, but I can’t bring myself to look. I know what it says. I knew what it would say when my head was in the toilet bowl this morning, vomit dribbling down my chin.
I take a breath and lower my eyes to the pregnancy test. I faced it down so I couldn’t see it. My hand trembles as I hold it up. I flip it over and see the blue cross. It’s a thick, bright kind of blue, as if it’s mocking me saying, “there’s no chance in hell I’m wrong”.
I let out a shaky breath and set the test on the floor.
Pregnant. I’m fucking pregnant.
The knob jiggles again, and I stand up and unlock the door. Paolo barges in and looks around for the test. His head dips, and his face falls when he sees it.
“Shit.”
I nod in agreement.
When he looks at me, his face hardens. “We’ll say it’s mine. You can’t get an abortion.”
I narrow my eyes. “Excuse me?”
“I’mCatholic,Alex. My whole fucking family is, and so is Settimo. Not thathe’s against abortion.” Paolo’s eyes widen, and he gives his head a shake. “Jesus, whatever you do,do nottell Settimo. Trust me, you—”
“I already know about Sophie Petrov.”
Paolo rears back and squints. “You do?”
“He told me about it.”
“And you decided to fall for him anyway?” Paolo shakes his head. “Are you—”
“Crazy? Stupid? No, I’m not. You don’t know the whole story.” I step up to him and raise my chin. “Donottell me what to do with my body. Never again. Or so help me God, I will ruin you like you’ve threatened to do to me.”
Paolo pushes me away and rolls his eyes. “I thought we were past the threats.”
I scoff. “You—”
“Can we not do this right now?” he snarls. “There are more important things to be discussed here than your pride.”
I glare at him a few more moments before blowing out a breath and allowing my face to soften. He’s right. As much as I would like to distract myself with yet another fight with Paolo, I can’t hide from this forever.
If Paolo hadn’t heard me puking this morning, I would’ve had time to process all this on my own. Or, more likely, I doubt I would’ve even taken the test in the first place. I could’ve convinced myself I had a horrible stomach bug if this asshole hadn’t brought home the test and insisted I take it.
“Fine,” I mutter.
Paolo scratches his head and then nods to the den before heading that way. I follow him and sit in a chair while he plops down on the couch in front of me.
“So,” he begins. He leans forward and props his elbows on his knees. “Let’s get the basics out of the way… We’ll wait a while, give it maybe two months, and then we’ll tell people the kid is mine. It isn’t as if there aren’t enough distractions right now anyway, and—”
“No one is going to believe it’s yours, Paolo. It isn’t a secret that I’m not your type.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He shakes his head. “They’ll assume I did my part and took your virginity on the wedding night. Most people will have no idea about Settimo, and the people who do know will forget about it.”
“Including Settimo?” I ask with a huff. “You think he’s not going to notice I have a mini him running around?”
Paolo’s eyes narrow. “You are thelastthing on his mind right now, Alex. I promise you that. He’ll never even see the kid. It isn’t like we’re friends.” He looks away from me and thinks for a moment. “Maybe you’ll have a girl. It’ll be easier to hide.”
“Because no one cares about girls?”
Paolo gestures to me. “Obviously.”
“You’re a dick,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. I feel an obligation to be irritated for my fellow non-penis having persons who have to put up with this shit, but inside I hope it’s a girl, too. Paolo’s right. It would be way better than carrying the future don of the mafia.