“It just happened, okay?”
Settimo shakes his head and faces forward. He rubs his temples with his thumb and index finger and closes his eyes.
“Oh, please,” I say with a huff. “Nowwho’s playing the victim? Don’t act like you were deceived or something. It wouldn’t have mattered to you if I was or wasn’t, and you’re the one who ordered Paolo to bring me here. I’m only telling you now because you’re speaking to me like I’m such a disappointment. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be plowed into from behind with my face shoved into a bed, okay?”
“That’s why you were bleeding, isn't it?” Settimo drops his hand and turns to me. His face droops without that devilish smile pulling his skin taut. He frowns.
My irritation eases, and I nod.
“And the blowjob. It hadn’tbeen a while, had it? You’ve never done that before? Have you done any of this?”
I hesitate, but then I shake my head.
Settimo blinks and his hand combs his hair again. “You’re wrong, Alex. It would’ve mattered.” He takes a breath and gestures around the room. “All of this would have mattered. I wouldn’t have… I wouldn’t have done this if I knew…”
“That I wasn’t a slut?”
“That you wouldn’t be into any of it.”
I open my mouth to respond, but my stomach flops, and I look away. I stare down at my hands and pick the cuticles.
“But you were into it… weren’t you?” He says it like he’s hopeful, his voice raising a few octaves.
I have the urge to lie, but I can’t bring myself to do that to him. He seems genuinely caring about this, and I’m pathetically grateful. He’s the first person I’ve come across who has seen my virginity as anything other than a trophy.
“Yes.”
A sigh rushes over his lips, and he nods. “I guess I get it. What with the whole arranged marriage and all. At least you did it on your own terms and all that.”
“I’ve questioned if it was the right decision every day since. And honestly,” I inhale a deep breath. “It was.” I turn to him and search his eyes for some understanding, some empathy. I want to fling my arms around him when I see it. “I really don’t want to marry Paolo.”
A tear gathers on my eyelash, and I blink to set it free. I let out a humorless laugh and run a finger below my eye. “I’ll admit, I’ve been incredibly naive. I know this sort of thing is common in our world. I should’ve known it was a possibility.”
“Ourworld?”
I blink. “What?”
Settimo tilts his head. “You said ‘our world’. But you’re not Italian. You didn’t even know who I was, and I’m the don of the familia. I thought your dad owed Leo Romano a debt? Is he also an associate or something?”
I open my mouth to correct him, but something makes me pause. At the time we met, it made sense to me that he didn’t know who I was or who I was marrying because I didn’t know he was the don. But I’m a peace offering from the Russians to the Italians. That’s what my father told me.
Wouldn’t the donknowthis?
“Never mind.” He waves his hand to dismiss it. “It’s not important. I’m sorry you have to marry Paolo. It doesn’t matter that it’s common or that maybe you should’ve known it was a possibility. If I had to marry the human equivalent of a participation trophy, I’d be pissed too.”
I snort and a small smile lingers on my face. Settimo spots it, and his face brightens with a grin.
“You know I didn’t have a problem with the guy until you?”
“Why’s that?” I ask, unsure I want to know the answer.
Settimo shrugs. “I never gave him much thought. I’m not a fan of his dad. We’ve never really seen eye-to-eye, but my father respected him, and it’s important to me to respect his wishes. Watching Leo give his ungrateful brat someone like you, it just… pisses me off.”
“Someone like me?” I get ready for the compliment and fully intend to fake my gratitude in response.Someone so beautiful. A knockout. A ten. Someone with your looks.Insert superficial compliment here.
“Yeah. I don’t know exactly what it is that makes you so special, but I fully intend on figuring it out.”
I don’t know what to say for a minute, so I just stare. He stares back.