One lane of the road is open, but everything I want is right here in their house. Maybe I should go into town to clear my head. Other than a few orgasm-laced proclamations, we all agreed this is sex.
Setting the timer for nine minutes, I hope the chocolate chip cookie smell will put the guys in a better mood.
Nathan just got off another call with their client. He and Carson are grouching about what a prick this guy is. That’s the part they agree on. The other part is more complicated. Carson’s getting tense because he can’t engineer the primary bedroom design until Nathan designs it.
The homeowners want a water feature in the bedroom but Nathan’s gone from a fountain, to a waterfall in the corner, to an entire rain wall and they’re still not satisfied. With only five days left to finish the plans, Carson’s worried he’ll end up being the bad guy who’ll get blamed for not completing the project on time.
I don’t like hearing the guys tense with each other. It reminds me of my parents arguing. At least I’m not the subject.
But I’ve been the source of tension. The bartending thing had caused tension, and Carson’s jealousy over me talking to the neighbor.
Which brings up a great point. Even when they’re grumpy or controlling, they’re not like my parents. We work things out.
Don’t we?
Carson still hasn’t agreed to me bartending. He still doesn’t want me talking to the neighbors. It seems he wants our relationship to be my whole world, but that’s only good for the short time we have left. And now that I see how things have worked out, I wonder if the whole thing about hiring me was a ruse to get me in bed from the start.
Whatever, I’m not complaining.
The question is if our one-time fling morphed into something more, the way I want to believe, or did they design and engineer our relationship?
There are so many problems withus.
I hop onto the counter and watch the countdown clock on the oven.
Instead of making adult-level decisions, am I just falling prey to my own conditioning? Letting people control me? It would be easier to accept if I didn’t feel so attached to them.
My mind goes back to what we did at this very spot a few days before. I love what I have with them. Their kind of control feeds me. I feel stronger, more secure when they bolster me.
Natalie texts:We should have a girls weekend.
Why is my gut reaction to be sad that I’d lose precious time with Carson and Nathan? On the surface, what we have can never work. In my heart, what we have is perfect.
I reply:Have to plan it around work
Natalie:Seriously? I thought you were just filling in.
I better warn them. Padding to the office, I head to Carson first. He kisses my boob before I get a chance to lean down, then hoists me across his lap. I’m not supposed to bother them but as I duck into their office, I accept the fantasy of our little world.
“Natalie’s coming this weekend.” I scrunch my shoulders as Carson tickles my neck with kisses.
“Guess we better get busy before she gets here.”
“We don’t have time for that.” Nathan slams his fist on his desk.
I cringe. Not really scared, just surprised. Nathan’s usually the level-headed one.
“Just taking a break for a few minutes.” Carson hoists me back to standing and swats my ass. “But tonight…you better be ready. Or we could just tell Natalie you’re our girlfriend.”
“No.” Nathan stares at Carson like he’s lost his mind. “No girlfriends. No relationships. No commitments. That’s how this works. And we’re not talking about it during work hours. So if you two don’t mind, let’s all get back to our jobs. I’ve got a spoiled millionaire who wants to bring the beach into his bedroom.”
The scent of the cookies floats into the room, failing to produce the happy sensation I’d hoped for. No reprieve from Nathan’s rant. My role is clear.
“What if you made the waterfall flow under a glass floor? Maybe you could even capture the energy of the falling water to zero out the energy expenditure?” I toss out an idea I’ve had in my head.
“I don’t need help. I need quiet.” That’s the first time Nathan raised his voice. Do I have two growly bears? Even Carson looks surprised.
Nathan catches himself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” He stands, takes my hands, and kisses them, then says, “Are you making cookies?”