NotonlydidGoldievisit with a neighbor’s daughter this morning, but she’s also out shopping with her now. Why does that bother me? Why do I want to be the center of her world?
The cold hard reality is that she’s several years younger than me and wants more out of life than sitting at a desk. Am I foolish to think that what we have is anything more than a few weeks of fun?
If Nathan hadn’t ended things last night, I would have gone all the way. That’s not how I should act if I want a relationship. I hid my irritation, but I’m glad he cut us off. We all need to think about this.
More would mean longer term, going public, telling our sister… Can we handle that? Can Goldie?
Will she be able to tolerate us for more than two weeks? My chest tightens as I open the project scheduler on my computer screen. So few days, and nights.
“It’s tight, but we can do it.” Did Nathan read my mind? He continues, “The timeline.”
Swiveling around to face him, I open up. “I’m not worried about the job. We’ll get it done. We always do.”
“That’s how we got our ‘balls to the walls’ reputation.”
“Yeah, our clients love us. We love our jobs. It’s been great, but do you ever want more?”
“Is this about Zoe?”
Nathan’s phone buzzes. He grabs it, shakes his head, and taps on the screen. “Just a second.”
He exchanges a few messages with whoever it is, leaving me to decide how to address the Zoe issue.
Am I crazy to think she’s my future when I haven’t even made love to her? A threesome…not exactly the kind of relationship that screams that this is forever. I tap my fingers on the arms of my chair.
Setting his phone on his desk, he turns his attention back to me. “That was Natalie. I swear she has sibling radar.”
“What did she say?”
He’s too calm for Natalie to know anything.
“Had me worried for a minute. Just mentioned she wanted to swing by sometime and make sure we’re not being too hard on Zoe.”
I raise my eyebrows. Panic races through me that she could turn this into a deal breaker.
Nathan elaborates, “Don’t worry, she just didn’t want us leaving dirty underwear laying around.”
“Right. No way Zoe would have said anything. But hey, I’ve kind of been wondering…do you think this will just be a one-time thing? We said that and then already blew it by adding the re-evaluate step.”
He crosses his arms then balls a fist and bumps it on his lips. His focus is somewhere on the floor. I give him time to process, and after a few long seconds, he lifts his eyes to meet mine and says, “It has to be.”
“What if I want more?” My palms sweat. I drag them over my thighs.
“How much more?”
“More.”
Nathan shakes his head. “We don’t have time for a relationship. This has to stay casual.”
“Do you really think it will?”
He stares at the doorway. I think he’s mainly avoiding looking at me. I’ll see right through his lie.
Nathan’s tone is heavy. “I almost lost control last night, that’s why I had to cut it off. I don’t think Zoe’s ready for how hard I want to fuck her. I want to mark her with my damn cum. I can’t settle for a fling. It’s too risky.”
“What’s the risk? We piss off our sister? Goldie pisses off her friend?”
“Keeping a secret from Natalie is one thing. Not a problem. Admitting that we had a three-way with her best friend…that’s the part I can’t do. Not with the way I want to bathe myself in Zoe’s juices. Natalie always hated the way her friends acted around me. I’ve tried to repair our relationship. This would be a major setback. If you lived with us, you’d understand.”