“I’ll stop. I promise to control myself.”
Well, that sounded stupid. The lack of oxygen must be getting to me.
“We don’t want you to control yourself. When you blush at innuendo, when we catch you looking at us, and when we hear you pleasing yourself in the middle of the night, we barely stay in control. What if we all stopped?”
Are my ears deceiving me? I lean to the side so I can see Nathan. He steps closer. Closer than ever before. Willpower drains from me, making it hard to keep from running my fingers over the line of hair from his belly button into his sweats.
Nathan shocks me with his offer. “One night. One secret. One—“
“No,” Carson booms, gripping my hand tighter. I hear my vibrator fall to the ground as he reaches behind my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. I think he’s shutting down when he repositions his hand between us, cupping my tender sex.
My already troubled breaths hitch. Satisfaction will be in huge supply with these two.
I shiver with need as he continues, “It can’t be one night. Not with the way Goldie drives me crazy with every breath she takes.”
Can he truly need me that badly? I’d doubt it if I didn’t feel the same toward them.
His hand stays firm against me. I want him to know it’s okay, so I squeeze his cock. He huffs a laugh and lowers his head. “Good girl,” he whispers into my ear.
Fuck. Is it possible to orgasm from words? My bones liquefy.
“One night then we re-evaluate.” Is he more worried about how a ménage relationship would reflect on him professionally or at least in town, or just Natalie’s reaction? She’s so sweet and innocent. She’ll never understand, which is exactly why this is best kept a secret.
“I agree.” Lovely. What do I think we’re doing, taking a vote? Hmm, we kind of are. Consent and communication will be important.
Carson’s hand tugs at my hair, angling my mouth upward. His lips part and he pauses. My sanity dangles by a thread.
Carson leans close. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Nathan drops his gaze to the floor. “Both of us?”
“Yes.”
Leaving his head lowered, he lifts his eyes to meet mine. “Even if doing so would ruin the nice, big brother image you have of me?”
I don’t worry that he’ll ruin my image of him. I’m worried he’ll ruin me. I’m worried I’ll hang on to the sound of my name on his lips in the heat of passion, the primal utterance of his release, and the heavy breaths that will only warm my skin for one night.
It will all be worth it.
Our eyes are locked, both testing the line we shouldn’t cross.
The slightest shake of his head confuses me. Is he telling me to resist? He’s not in charge of me. I’ve spent too long letting other people control what I do. Tonight, I’m making my own choice. No one has to know. The only thing that will change is me taking control of my own life. Going after what I want.
I nod agreement. “How big are you?”
His eyes go dark and he swallows hard, but neither of us moves.
It’s Carson who seizes the moment. His mouth claims me. The kiss is so deep I lose track of myself. It’s only when the cool night air hits me that I realize I’m in his arms, we’ve gone up the stairs and Nathan has opened the door to the roof.
When Carson lets me up for air, Nathan slides his arms around me, turning my body so that my legs straddle his waist. “This is our secret.”
I nod understanding. We’re on the side of the rooftop deck that isn’t visible by neighbors, where I’d moved the chair to. I’ve kept my attraction to him secret for years, but this is so different. What have I become?
Our mouths mesh as if every fantasy he’s starred in has shown us the path to each other. That I already know him and he knows me in the most intimate ways.
“Where were you when you pleased yourself?” Carson asks.