“Here we go with your conspiracy theories about how he’s a fuck boy.”
He reaches over and takes my entire plate; no manner, just gluttony. “Well, isn’t he?”
“No!”
“Where’re you goin’ on your date?”
“A place called Wylee’s.”
“Wylee’s?” He sets the plate down, licks the syrup off his fingers he JUST told me he didn’t want to eat because it had too much sugar, and picks his phone up off the counter to tap out a search. “Wylee’s sells broasted chicken.”
“So?”
Duke laughs, loud and deep. “You’re meetin’ at a bar with a dart league on Tuesdays and a bags league on the weekends.”
“So?”
“Not to mention, this place is seven point three miles from here.”
I sigh. “So?”
What’s his point?
“He thinks if he comes closer to your place, you’ll bring him home, and he’ll get to fuck you.”
Well.
Okay then.
Well.
My cheeks are hot pink. “That is not happening.”
“So?” he parrots me. “Just ’cause you say it’s not happenin’ doesn’t mean he isn’t going to manifest it.” He laughs again, using my own inner thoughts against me.
“Would you please leave me alone? And give me back my plate. I wasn’t done with that.”
He hands me the plate.
It’s mostly empty except for a few stray pecans that have fallen off their pancakes.
I pick one up, nibbling at it.
So good.
“The good news is you can wear a hoodie if you have a hankerin’.”
“Shut up, Duke.”
His monster shoulders shrug as he tilts his head to one side, thinking. “Don’t I recall one of your house rules as not bringin’ house guests home without discussin’ it first?”
“No one is bringing a house guest home tonight.” I wish he would go away, but instead, he’s just standing there needling me. Harping on me like an older brother—one I never asked for. “And besides, you never read those rules anyway. How would you even know?”
“Oh, I read them all right. All ten of them.” He clears his throat. “Don’t eat your roommate's food without asking—or replace it once you do. Always ask to borrow things.” Duke pauses. “That’s the rule sayin’ I have to ask if I want to borrow your clothes and vice versa.”
How is he reciting this verbatim? “You’ve broken both of those rules.”
“Keep music and voice to a respectable volume, especially at bedtime.” He goes on. “No overnight guests without consulting the other person. Keep all doors locked atalltimes.” He looks at me pointedly. “But not the windows, apparently.”